Depression And Me (Chapter 3)

The first chapter of this story,

https://wrytin.com/pawankarthik/depression-and-me-chapter-1-jwq1ecqo

The second chapter of this story,

https://wrytin.com/pawankarthik/depression-and-me-chapter-2-jwuecp4m

But I knew that this was just the beginning to the end of my sorrows and grief. The feelings of deeper grief and sorrows are like a ball thrown to a wall, the faster you throw it away, the faster it comes backs at you.

I have seen so many people depressed because of failed love lives, financial crisis or family disputes. Let me tell you, people. you are very lucky. At least you know why you are depressed, unlike my situation where I have no idea why I am depressed. I have spent a whole month escaping from the feelings that are right inside me.

One fine day came, it's a Government holiday and because of consecutive holidays, many of my roommates have gone to their houses and my girlfriend has decided to do work overtime in these holidays because of high demand. Yet again I am going through the same feelings, pressure, that I have been avoiding...

Then it hit me, a single dialogue from one of my favorite movie made me realize what I have been doing wrong since the beginning.

I was escaping it instead of enjoying it and using the pain for a greater purpose.

For the next 15 days, I just sat and watched ' 13 Reasons Why ', the only series that could make me sad at any point of time. I started listening only painful, sad songs, I have read only sad stories. I don't exactly understand the reason or psychological factor that made me better but reaching the pinnacle of sorrow and grief, crying made me feel better.

It's as if like there is nothing that could make me sad anymore as I have experienced my peak point of sadness.

Parallelly, I started benefiting from the pain in the form of 'blog', my long lasting project which I have been postponing from years. Though I am not one of the top bloggers in even a part of my city, it gave me ultimate pleasure and satisfaction. The pain helped me to become a better writer.

" A person experiencing pain is the ultimate expression of feelings.", no proclaimed writer told this, I just feel it's true.

" From not feeling happy anymore to Not feeling sad anymore, the journey we make turns us into a warrior".