How I Discovered God?

As a child, I was always made to believe in God. My parents are not very religious but they definitely believe in the theory called the existence of God. Not goes a single day where my mom and dad won't pray to God for our well-being. Well, nothing is wrong in that if it acts as a source of positive energy to make them feel better about themselves and direct them to a good path.

To be honest, like any other person I had many ups and downs in my life. And probably some of them were terrible enough which I could have never survived without the god who just got my back all the time. It was me, who dumped him when I was powerful enough.

Those were the early days of class tenth when I was very stable and going good. Before that time, I never felt this confident and stable. Although I worked really hard to get me to that path but everywhere I walked I could always feel positive energy within my blood who used to be with me at all my bad times.

Right after I became stable and I had everything I just dumped the feeling of the existence of god and started spreading atheistic feelings all around me. I just got my mind written that there's nothing like god, it's all me and today wherever I belong, I belong because of myself. I forgot before all this, I had some really terrible days and if I wouldn't have got his support in form of love, affection, motivation perhaps it would have been a "the end" there itself.

And perhaps that was the time when he got a bit pissed. Lol, right after that within two-three months things started, I started losing all my stability, despite working the double than what I used to do earlier I still ended up failing. I just can't imagine what I was doing wrong, those were the times when I had become totally result oriented person.

I didn't care about the things or the people, I just saw everything either as a success or a failure. Nothing was going in favour of me, and suddenly within a short span of time, I just lost everything I had. Followed by two biggest heartbreaks of my life, I was now totally destroyed and tired of everything. I was almost paralyzed I no longer felt things. I just can't understand the fact that I tried it best, hit it hard enough but somehow I lost it all. And perhaps that was the biggest turnover in my life.

I realized I have been so much into results that I just ignored everything else in my life, I had turned super arrogant and instead of living out my life I was just existing into a completely different world.

I just took a break at that point of life, looked back and captured and flashed all those old moments when I have been supported by some supernatural power.

I looked within myself and understood, before getting anything else in life I need to be more human, I need to calm down. I have to disconnect myself from the materialistic world and connect my heart and mind and understand the beauty of the creator. Slowly, I turned back into that old person I always meant to be. Everything exterior faded off and the first time in my life I talked to god.

Before I was stable, I used to talk to god because of my self-gains, after I got stable I forgot that god even exists and started questioning his existence and again when I was devasted, all the struggle I went through to bring me back to start helped me get the deep understanding of God. Now I don't ask him for anything, we are just as good as two friends, I feel his presence all around me and whenever I do something big I look up smile bright and whisper in my head:

Thank you so much, god! I know it was you.