Speak Up : Its Long Overdue...

I was speaking to one of my friends last week and she said someone at her workplace made an inappropriate remark about her personal life, but she could not reply at the moment. I asked her why? She said, “Leave it, maybe he did not mean it or maybe he did but I did not want everyone to think I was too sensitive”

Too sensitive? What does that mean? Isn’t it normal to speak about how you feel? When did that become a perception of weakness or being too sensitive? This triggered something and I asked myself the very same question. You think that would be easy, speaking up for something which you found hurtful or over the line but often, it is not as straight forward as you think. People struggle to voice themselves even after knowing they are right. Most of us hear or are part of such conversation but seldom realize we can make a difference just by speaking up. I for one being an absolute introvert is awkward at such situations and cannot respond the right way and generally zone out during such conversations thinking you cannot change someone’s opinion in 15 mins. But I guess that is where even I am wrong, it is not about the time or effort that you put in, it should be putting across your point no matter what, no matter how small the issue is.

Let me share a story...I was a victim of cyberbullying a few years ago which had quite an impact on me for a long time. I used to receive unsolicited messages, pictures, and requests on social media. Now, I know what you might be thinking, most of us get such messages, What’s new in that? What people do not realize is when you get such messages/requests repeatedly from any unknown or sometimes by known one, you cannot just ignore it always and even if most of us dismiss it with a casual attitude, often it spirals to something serious which is well beyond our control. My bully was a known person, we can call him “X” who after being asked not to, continued messaging me on my phone and Facebook. Back then I carried a phone on which I could not block any contact and hence I had to change my contact, my phone to avoid such calls/SMS. It was as if I was cleaning my slate and starting all over. I wanted to tell everyone what X was doing here and how that is affecting me. I wanted to raise my voice but was asked to tread carefully as it can get uglier than that. After much deliberation on my part and some extreme episodes involving insulting messages, the threat to harm, intimidating other friends I decided to finally speak up. I tried confronting the situation by speaking directly to "X" and much to my disbelief he denied everything, accused me of scaring his reputation and played the victim card there. Everyone convinced me not to file a complaint and just to move on and I did. Now when I think of it, I should not have just moved on. I should have fought much harder than that for my sake, maybe then I would not regret not doing anything now. I should have spoken up for myself because no one else did. It took me one and a half years of social media hiatus, depression, lost friends to get back to normal. I had the support of my family and few friends who helped me through everything and for that, I will be always thankful but everyone does not have that choice and believe me bottling up everything inside makes the matter much worse.

This might seem too small for you but someone out there might be battling something bigger. Most of us do not shy away from debating over these but fail to grasp the underlying truth when it matters the most. You can go on and on about things but we have to understand at some point we are the ones making those decisions that are setting an example for the future generations to follow. Just because today we will be perceived as strong, normal and within the society’s set standards we do not try to break free and stand up for what is right. I mean whoever dictated the norms are long gone and over, then why should the ideas stay behind for us to follow? It is okay to be opinionated with a strong mind and a strong voice. It is okay to Speak Up!!!