"Log kya kahengey."
Quite familiar statement in our life. Isn't it?
This is true..!!
How many times we don't live our life the way we want to just because we are so concerned about other people's opinion?
The answer is Many Times, and we all know that from day to day life decisions to major life decisions, one thing is constant: Log kya kahengey
But let me tell you the fact:
It's easy to complain about the outside critic, but the biggest critic in your life usually lives between your own two ears (Your Brain).
Do you really think so, what opinion people give are as genuine as we consider it?
It can take a lifetime to learn that just because people comment about you, doesn't mean they really care about your choices. Usually people give their opinion and simply move on.
But we take those opinion so seriously specially the 'Bad one.'
And that is because, In a research paper title: "Bad is stronger than Good"
Roy Baumeister summarizes that prove we are more likely to remember negative criticism than praise.
And we allow other people's opinion to not only hurt us, but oftentimes to define us. We start doubting on ourselves, our decisions.
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth. - Marcus Aurelius.
Keep light of the fact that:
Many before you were judged, and many after you will continue to be judged.
It will always be like this way, that's the nature of the diverse society. Considering the fact you shouldn't allow other's opinion to affect you.
The fact is some people will never approve your decisions, no matter what choices you take, someone will always be there to scrutinized you.
They will judge you for everything,
Your plans for you career, plans for your children, who your friends are, places where you spend time, dress you wear and so on.
How can you expect to please them all?
But that is the best part, it gives you freedom to act honestly in your life.
Whenever you want to try or start something different or new, before outside critics, your brain starts assuming what other will say.
See... Its not your job, what people say is none of your business, let them think or say whatever they want to.
We all are different with different upbringings, values and beliefs.
What one person consider garbage, can be another person's treasure.
Those who are giving their opinion, they don't know, why you made that decision over another.
Your decision is steeped in the present situation and circumstances of your life not their.
You are doing the best according to your life and that's all that matter.
There are many people who have nothing better to do with their time and life, they go around looking for people whose lives are fascinating and they talk about them.
Those are small minded people who are concerned with what others are doing. They just simply criticize and move on.
A wise person once said:
"People will love you and people will hate you and none of them have anything to do with you"
How true that is,
No matter how good of a person you are and no matter how kind you are to the people around, there will always be someone who has a problem with you and there will always be someone who will be bothered by how you live your life.
It is what it is.
The important thing is for you to be yourself.
And to remind yourself constantly that people will see what they want to see.
It's common to want and seek approvals from others.
You must have noticed,
Whenever we are confused with our decisions, we look up for others to give us approval.
And this is how it is.
But every time you give your power away and rely on others to make decisions for you, It will make you so doubtful that even in small matters you start taking approval from others.
So, trust on your own ability and make decisions and face the consequences and whatever will be the consequences whether good or bad, that will be only yours and you will get to learn by them.
Last but not the least.
Do you really think people really care about you before passing any opinion?
No, not at all.
If you find yourself worried about what others think of you,
Chances are they are not thinking about you as much as you believe.
We all have complex lives to attend and whatever opinion you are seeking from others, chances are they don't care as much as you think.
The best thing you can do for yourself is, take the energy you putting over other's approval and transform that energy into evaluating what you truly approve.