My Darling (Totally Relatable To Every Man)

    Hey babe

What’s up darling?

    Don’t freak out

I have some bad news

Did you pick up my dress from the drycleaners?

I reminded you in the morning

Yes

I did pick up your dress

Its laid down on the bed

Oh yeah

So what did you do?

Did you spill wine on the carpet again?

No darling

This is really serious

Did you do something bad?

no

You kiss that bitch right??

Which bitch?

That sally that has a crush on you

Wait a second

How many bitches did you kiss??

Are you cheating on me??

stop

How do you type so fast?

You better come clean

You DONT

want to mess with me

No I would never do that

I kissed one

no one*   

Did you just realize that you are gay??

Ummm…What???????

No

What gives you that idea?

Nothing particular

Is it because of my job??

No it’s the more of your style

okay

It’s your behavior

What??

Wait….. Do you know about Sam??

Of course I do

You are the worst liar

I know you feel betrayed

I really tried

But it still happened

I just couldn’t resist his green eyes

I know

He has all your attention

But you love him right?

……..

Did you kill Sam??

No

Where did you bury my darling??

no

You jealous ass

Sam is a bloody cat Sarah

I am not jealous of that cat

Okay maybe sometimes

  So you did kill him

No

I did not kill your stupid cat

This way more serious

It concerns our future

Wait are you asking me

 to MARRY you??

Should you do it over text??

No no no

  I mean Iove you

But I am not asking you to marry me

Excuse me?

Do you ever wanna marry me??

Yes

But darling

we don’t even know each other that well yet

We hav been dating for 10 years now

I am sorry but

Marriage is not in our cards darling

Are you breaking up with me??

No no no

Cause if you are

This is the worst way to do it

No

Please listen

No break up

No marriage

It is worse than that

what have you done??                                    

I didn’t do anything

You ass

I knew it you forgot something

Didn’t you??

And its become an issue

No

Then what is it?

I was stabbed….

an hour ago…..

I am pretty sure….

I am dead right now.

Wait Sally liked me???????

Photo by Heather Barnes