The term forgiveness can be defined as the act of letting go of resentment and grudges that you hold not only on others,but yourself too.Many people believe that forgiveness is a selfless act,but it in reality it is a selfish one. This selfish act helps improve your life and in this sense,we all deserve to bring about this improvement for ourselves.
As obvious as it gets,life poses us with challenges in the form of difficult sitatuations and people that have done wrong to us.Most often while holding a grudge seems an easy way out,what we neglect is that in a way we are just letting the negative feelings crowd inside of us leading to hostillity and resentment to take roots.
In this sense we are still carrying that person with us all the time-using our precious mental energy on what has already happened,letting them take full control of the mind.
The resentment harms the one holding the grudge than the person at which it is directed. The reasona person holds the grudge is because it is reminder of a negative experience that has occured,a reminder of the feelings that too are negative and the person who has betrayed.
Some people are more forgiving nattuarlly but anyone can learn forgiveness and will definitely be able to live more freely.
WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO LET GO OF THE NEGATIVITY?
Negative feelings will become a part of life!
You would routinely dwell in the past or future,leading to anxiety or depression
Impact other interpersonal relationships
Impact what you think
Lead to negative life experiences
So,the choice is simple:FORGIVE:Yourself and others too.
HOW DO I FORGIVE?
This forgiveness in NO WAY justifies the act of the other person,it just sets you free.
Consider that your car is hit by another car.
CASE 1:The driver in the other car is drunk,who carelessly drove into your car.
CASE 2:The car is without a driver and it is responsible for hitting your car(IMAGINATION)
In which case-will you be able to forgive better? Naturally the second-so in either ways your car is hit,but your reaction will be different.This decides how you CHOOSE to respond to the incident and will help you deal with th situation in a more calm,mature way.
If you still find it difficult to forgive the person-stating you see them everyday or can not "imagine" not seeing the person-imagine the person as a toddler,with baby eyes with all their innocence and tears apologising to you and begging you to forgive them.
Visualise this remembering their voice and their mannerism.
Make sure to repeat it a few times as a reminder to yourself.This makes sure that even though you don't justify the act,you are mature enough to LET IT GO.
Practise this and notice how you feel after let it all go-Do you feel lighter?Did you set yourself free?
Notice and write down your feelings.
FORGIVE,NOT FORGET:Forgiveness helps to be calm and ensure a sense of inner peace but at the same time one should not forget if someone has done them wrong,it should be a reminder of their own mistakes and what they have learned.