" Shyness is sh*t.
It isn't cute or feminine or appealing. It torments and it's sh*t.
I spent a lot of my childhood and adolescence staring at the ground. It's a wonder I didn't become a geologist."
Said by Octavia Butler in one of her books and I totally relate to it.
Since childhood, I was the "shy" girl always hesitated to speak to others because of which I never really got to express myself. And it's very later probably late, I guess, that I realized that because of this expected trait of a woman I could never be myself. But as said it's better to start later than to never, I started doing a few things which helped me boost my confidence.
And if you also struggle with public speaking or confidence read what I have for you below :
Confidence is just like a muscle the more you work with it, the more you gain.
Wear comfortable clothes.
Look neat and tidy.
take care of body odors-apply perfume.
Once you do this half of the game is won because you feel good looking at yourself as you have put some effort into it. Also gives other people a good impression. Well, this was the external part but as we all know confidence is about how you feel about yourself from within. So, let'ss work on that now:
Now do me a favor, frown for a second and now smile for a moment. At which expression you felt the best? Obviously, when you smiled.
We are humans and as much we are drawn to smile and happiness, we do feel happy when we smile.
So next time the moment you enter a room or start a conversation start it with a smile, meet people with a smile and spread happiness.
It helps the other person feel comfortable and eventually you too.
So put those lips onto some work and smile.
This is talking without words.
Sometimes the most confident person but with the wrong body language can give the impression of not being so confident.
For this I have 5 rules :
1. Don't ever slouch and talk to a person. Keep your back straight and erect.
2. No close body language, no fidgeting, never fold your arms as it conveys that you are not interested in the conversation.
3. Constant eye contact. Don't look down, don't look around.
4. Face people when you talk to them. Don't angle your body away from them because this shows you wanna go somewhere else.
5. While explaining something try to use your hands and move them around a little. It's more convincing.
One of the reasons I always felt underconfident was that I constantly compared myself with others and bombarded myself with a question like, what does she thinks of me? is she bored with me? does she wanna go and many other. With the cherry on the top comparing myself with other like, damn she is so smart, she is confident than me and I am really nothing.
And what I have learned is that if you wanna win the game you have to pretend as you are the winner. You have to say things to yourself like "I am confident" "I am perfect" "I am gonna slay this" keep the compliments coming. So, don't compare because you know you are the best.
Another factor of this is that add curiosity to the conversation as just because you are the winner doesn't mean they are any less than you. If you are in the conversation, be curious, be interested in the conversation, listen to what they say, if they express their opinions feel free to express yours.
Bonus tip: if you are ever stuck in the conversation and doesn't know how to add up just ask a question about what the person was talking. This shows you are interested in knowing what they know. Gives a good expression.
Well, just reading about the tips won't help, right? You gotta practice it
Just like any other skill of life, this can too be achieved with regular exercise and practice.
If you are in a new setting with strangers just start a conversation what's the worst thing that can happen, they'll just not talk, right? So what, move on there are many other people. You don't have time to be stuck with one.
Go out try new stuff. Do things you were always afraid of. Just be your damn self.
One thing that I have learned during my school is that people are always little underconfident so you be the one who brings confidence and happiness into the conversation. Wherever you are going to go with a positive vibe, carry laughter, carry a smile, and most important carry confidence.
(Pictures are taken from google)