The Five Stages Of Dating In Every Relationship

Though many people hope that their partner will be perfect and have very few flaws, that is never the case. Though many relationships culminate in a blissful long-term commitment, the truth is that there are four other stages that the relationship needs to pass through before achieving this. 

There are five stages of dating that almost every relationship goes through, all with their ups and downs. These stages are initial attraction, reality and experimentation, deepening the bond, stability, and long-term commitment. 

Not every relationship will make it through to the final stage. Each stage will have its pros and cons, but it is up to the couple to work hard through the difficult times to ensure they make it to the next phase. 

If you are struggling in your relationship but still want to create a lasting commitment, then read on to learn about each stage of dating and how to overcome the obstacles that come with each step. 

Stage One: Attraction and Romance

This is the honeymoon phase. At this point, everything is fun, exciting, and new. You’re attracted and interested in your new partner and enjoy getting to know them. Though this phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few years, the average length of the honeymoon phase is about three months. 

During this period, you are going on plenty of dates to learn about and become comfortable with your partner. The two of you are having plenty of fun and enjoying the incredible feeling of falling in love. 

On the downside, this is the phase where everything is a bit of a fantasy. Since you haven’t known the other person for long, you haven’t had time to see who they really are or their flaws. Most people are on their best behavior during this period, which can make it seem like they are perfect. Many couples mistakenly become committed too quickly because they believe that their partner is perfect after only knowing them for a few dates. 

It’s important during this phase not to get too caught up in the emotions and make decisions you may regret later. Take the time to get to know your partner. Make sure you understand and experience their triggers, flaws, and ticks before deciding if they truly are “the one.” 

Stage Two: Reality and Experimentation

This stage is often described as “reality setting in.” The honeymoon phase is ending, and you’re probably noticing some flaws in your partner. That wondrous feeling of love you experienced in the first stage may be subsiding. The second phase is when many people realize their partner is not for them. 

However, this doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship. Many people still love their partner but accept that they are not the fantasy that they had created in their mind. Everyone is human and has flaws, so this isn’t a reason to dismiss your partner as an inadequate match. 

In fact, this is the phase you may begin to bring your lives together. For example, you may start hobbies together or introduce your partner to your kids, friends, or family. 

Though this phase can start earlier, it typically begins about six months into the relationship. 

Stage Three: Deepening the Bond

About a year into the relationship, the third stage sets in. At this stage, the bond deepens. By now, you should be aware of your partner’s flaws. The two of you have worked hard to communicate, accept each other’s differences, and resolve conflict. 

There may be a deeper sign of commitment at this point, such as moving in together. Couples who feel a deep connection at this point may even begin discussing marriage or other forms of long-term commitment. 

However, this stage is also known as the “stage of disillusionment.” If you and your partner cannot resolve your differences or work out arguments in a healthy way, then you may be miserable with each other during this phase. You’ve been with each other long enough to know each other pretty well but haven’t been doing the necessary work to deepen the bond and move on to the next phases. Healthy commitment cannot be achieved until you learn to work through your conflicts and differences. 

Stage Four: Stability and Integration

This is the stage of true intimacy, love, and bonding. At this point, you and your partner have had plenty of time to know and understand each other and have fully integrated into each other's lives. 

Both of you are more comfortable being vulnerable and communicating any issues or conflicts. At this point, you may have even been together for years and can’t envision life without each other. If the relationship is fairly harmonious at this point, then you are ready for a more formal commitment.

Stage Five: Commitment

This is the final stage in a healthy relationship. You have been through many ups and downs but are steadfast in your love. The two of you are ready to make a formal commitment to each other.

Though traditionally, commitment meant marriage, this doesn’t have to be the end goal. Commitment can include other types of love vows or can even simply be defined as living together. No matter what the commitment entails, you and your partner are creating a life together and can’t envision a future without one another. 

Final Thoughts

Understanding these five stages of relationships can help you understand the ups and downs of your relationship along the way. It’s normal to lose attraction and spark in a relationship, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over or that you don’t love your partner anymore. By understanding these stages, you can learn what to expect (both the good and bad) and map out a strategy to help your relationship thrive.