Ready Or Not? Know The Signs Of Marriage Readiness

Shikha Khandelwal
Apr 13, 2020   •  13 views


Suddenly at some time, you will feel that everybody around you is getting married and starting their family. You will feel happy for them, but when thinking for yourself; you can’t even wonder. Marriage is an important step in a relationship because it acts towards true commitment towards each other. But not everyone is ready to get married. The thing is that lots of couples get married prematurely because they think it’s the next step towards their relationship, but it’s not true. 

People generally have a wrong belief that if you love someone, then you should marry each other and live happily ever after, that’s what we watch in movies. But guys, we are in real life!! In reality, marriage means a lot because it’s a big commitment and involves efforts from both sides to make it successful, healthy and the question arises that how do you know that if you and your partner are truly ready to get married?

Be the correct partner

It is obvious finding the right partner is just as important as being the right partner. It is essential to do some self-exploration and search for what strengths you can bring to your relationship. We know that no one is born to be perfect by birth. We all have flaws, it is important to identify them and start your unending journey towards personal growth. Being the right partner also means that you acknowledge and accept that you are responsible for creating your own experience. You own your thoughts and choose the attitudes that you bring to the relationship thus contributing to your overall experience with your partner.

A Marriage is not just a wedding

Some people are in love with the idea of a wedding and the planning of the wedding. The thought of the beautiful dresses, the flowers, the gathering of family and friends for a big celebration and even the honeymoon that follows is an exciting thought for many people. A wedding lasts for just a few hours but the marriage will last a lifetime (hopefully!). It is vital, to be honest with yourself about what you’re really after. Is it just the wedding or the lifetime commitment? While planning the big day is a lot of work and can be a lot of fun, the real work starts when the marriage begins.

Total acceptance

Honesty is an important thing in any healthy and meaningful relationship. It is essential, to be honest with your partner about everything, including the deepest, ugliest truths about yourself that you have never dared to share with anyone else. Unconditional love is at the core of marriage. Your partner needs to be able to accept all of you, which include the parts that aren’t so lovely or that you believe aren’t so lovely. You need to be able to do the same for your partner. If you never share those less desirable parts of yourself does your partner really know who they are marrying?

Would you want to marry someone that you truly don’t know? Acceptance is not the same as “tolerating”. It’s simply the result of an honest dialogue that leads to an acknowledgment of something that is not accepted. When you accept something, you let go of the fruitless attempt at “changing” your spouse into the person you want them to be and the person they are not. The paradox of acceptance is that, through acceptance, change can occur on its own.

While you and your partner may not find that you are compatible with all things, there are some key areas where compatibility is needed for a successful marriage. Value congruence is when you are living in accordance with your personal values and beliefs. If you find that you often abandon your values and beliefs to suit your partner, then there may be some issues of compatibility in your relationship. While you and your partner’s values and beliefs may not align 100% of the time it should most of the time.

Living in congruence with your values is necessary for your psychological well-being. If this is something that you are not able to do while being with your partner, then it may not be the right relationship and needless to say one that most likely should not be entering a marriage. Discussions about goals and expectations about marriage should be discussed ahead of time. This enables you to have a clear idea of your partner’s expectations and whether or not they align with yours.

Marriage is a wonderful gift and should be taken very seriously. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly or made impulsively. While there are other signs that should be considered in assessing your readiness for marriage, these are just a few areas where the significant weight should be placed.