Review: Beastly

Daniel Barnz’s Beastly tries really hard to make us believe that beautiful people are missing the point that there’s so much more to life than being “really, really, ridiculously good-looking.” In a speech by Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) to his high school classmates, after a montage of him working out shirtless in a fancy Manhattan apartment, he implores them to cast their votes for him as class president on the sole merit of his wealth and abundant sexiness; we’re exposed very quickly to the self-righteous entitlement frequently exhibited by people who can afford to be assholes. They win elections and they get the girl, and despite its seemingly good intentions, Beastly doesn’t ultimately paint much of an alternative picture. But luckily we have Mary-Kate Olsen as Kendra, the witch who curses Kyle with a hideous outward appearance as punishment for his flagrant cockiness, providing enough campyfun to keep you awake while the rest of the movie flails around aimlessly, never managing to grab onto anything substantial.

The sheer absurdity of much of the film’s plot provides the bulk of the entertainment. When Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) moves in with Kyle (disguised as “Hunter” and exiled to Brooklyn by his superficial dad, who just can’t seem to deal with his son’s new look) after her life is threatened by a drug dealer whose brother has just been shot dead by Lindy’s addict father, we mostly just hang around to see what ludicrous twist is around the next corner. This allows moments such as when Kyle appeases Lindy’s petulance about leaving her old life behind by offering her some Jujyfruits, which he know she likes because she randomly buys them when he spies on her earlier in the film, to actually work. But the whole thing falls apart if you ask too many questions, and the nonsensical events and situations in Beastly function as pretty distractions as the film glosses frantically and desperately over the surface, trying to keep us from realising how thin the ice actually is.

A must watch movie which shows the reality of this world. A much to learn from this.