Narcissist Can Change!!

YES YOU CAN CHANGE. THE MOMENT YOU ASK THIS QUESTION YOU HAVE ALREADY WON HALF OF THE BATTLE!
See having an awareness of your behavior pattern and putting an effort to bring a change in it tells a lot about you, you realize that there is something about you that is not good and you want to get rid of it. And to people who say that narcissist can’t change, if a person himself/herself feel that they have narcissistic tendencies and they are searching for a solution for it, then they can definitely change.

See its a delicate situation and you have to handle it carefully. Below is a Step by Step guide on how you can let go of these narcissistic tendencies. But before doing them remember be patient, good things take time.

1. Observe your Behavior : There must be certain actions due to which you felt that you have those narcissistic traits, like the way you talk to others or certain behavior you have. Take a note of it, if possible then then write those things down.

1. Working on the observed behavior: As you have taken a note of the actions that you feel make you a narcissist, now think ways you can act differently in those situations, for example you are with your friends and you most of the time act selfishly( which is the most common trait of all narcissist) , then this time do something that you never do.. like paying for your friends, giving them your things to use. Or suppose you talk down to your spouse and always discourage him/her( again a very common traits of Narcissists), then this time to him/her with respect( even if you don’t feel like it) , encourage them support them( all of these things will be very difficult at the start but with time they’ll become a part of you). So in both of the situations you are taking physical discomforting actions to bring about a change in yourself- This is a very big thing! Be proud. ( But don’t tell this to anyone that you are trying to change, let your actions speak for you)

2. Changing your beliefs: There are some common beliefs that every narcissist have and you can work on these core believes to bring a change in you:

• World Owes Me: All the narcissists believe that that the whole world owes them something and they should be give a special treatment. This leads to maximum emotional suffering as the world will never be the way you want it to be, it is the way it is and if you want to be treated specially then unselfishly do something great for people and they’ll treat you the way you want.

• I’m the Best: This is a very good self belief when you are going for some competition, but living by the belief that I’m the best and others are nothing in front of me is where the problem comes in, most of the narcissists believe that they are the best and the world needs to learn from them, narcissistic are always critical of successful people blaming them for malpractices. You need believe that yes you are good, but others are also good people, hard working people, honest people, see don’t have the right to say bad about anyone, Always appreciate other people and soon you’ll see more success and opportunities actually come to you.

• I deserve attention: All narcissist want attention, they want to be treated like kings and queens and they should come first on everyone’s priority list. This is a big issue and what you can do is that NEVER EXPECT ATTENTION from anyone, I’m no Special, I’m just like others, I’m simple human being - tell this to your self, believe me this will help you a lot, you’ll live a much happier life.

• I can never be wrong: A very common behavior trait of all the narcissists is that they can never do anything wrong, and if anything goes wrong its always other fault. I’m a human and I can make mistakes- tell this to yourself, its okay to make mistake as the one who make mistakes learn the most. Tell these sort of things to your self so that you star to accept your flaws and when you accept your flaws, you can work on them and become a better individual.

• Taking things Personally: Many narcissists have an habit of taking every comment or every remark personally and then getting angry or feeling bad about it, and this again happens because you believe that you are most important. People don’t even have the time to make conspiracies against you neither they are interested so stop thinking that way and you’ll be much more happier.

4. Feel other’s Pain: As you have worked on all of these core believes you had now, take your self improvement to a next level, try to feel the pain others go through, be sympathetic, understand what issues are troubling your loved ones and help them come out of those, in starting you won’t feel anything but with time and YOUR effort you’ll start to develop genuine emotions for others and you’ll feel much better.

5. Celebrate other’s Success: After developing the ability to feel other’s pain, now try to be happy for other’s success, in starting it would be difficult, you’ll have a bit of jealousy but over the time if YOU put in effort then you’ll develop an ability to actually be happy for others!

Think Good, Talk Good, Do Good, Be Good improve your life and life of others around you, bring good thoughts in your mind, talk good to others- say positive things, encourage people, try to feel others pain and say good bye to all these Narcissistic traits that destroy your life as well as the life of your loved ones!

I also suffer from these traits and the above written things are from my personal experience, I have tried them myself and seen a lot of change in my behavior, and it feels so good!

Nothing is Impossible.
Stay Strong,
Vishal Jain
YouTube- GUIDE TO RICH LIFE