Big Girls Do Not Cry.

Pain is fierce. Hazel Grace was right it demands to be felt, sticks to you. You can't stand immune to it. No matter how brave or strong you depict yourself to be. Deep down it starts eating you, when you least expect it to.

Slowly and steadily it gulps you in.
Meanwhile you don't even realize and put a brave face to the world deceiving yourself of being immune.

I have so many questions and doubts, but nowhere to go to and noone to turn to.
So, I decided to bring them out in the open for you all to have a glimpse at my soul.
Because the Pen is my sword and the Paper is my shield but the irony is together they help me bleed.

Bleed my heart out to the world.
Aah!
Coming back to my questions, off they go.

What is it that you look forward to during times of pain and utter nonsense, which least of all you should be going through.

How do you convince yourself of loving and believing in divinity and worst of all hoping amid so much evidence of random chaos.

How do you defend your God and continue worshipping and preaching his love,
When a person's innocence is rewarded with pain and fear or worse.

What is it that keeps you going.
What is that gives you strength and vigour to rise up yet again just to face the same crap.

And, Why and Who decided, that it has to me or the people I love with my aching heart.

These questions.
They don't end with a question mark, because a mark won't do justice to my questions.
And also they haven't been jotted here for you to answer them, rather they have been compiled in the hope that if by any damn luck left in my destiny I end up bumping into your Gracious God, I should be ready to fire him with questions that currently are burning me.

Love.