Hi! If you are reading this right now I get where you are coming from, so welcome and let's crack some nuts.
Starting a conversation with a total stranger can be an intimidating thought, but hey guess what Jake Peralta said, "Eyes close, head first, can't lose".
Conversations are pretty important in our lives, because it creates a link to make a bond, however small. In a time of "sliding in the DMs", someone needs to hold the torch as to show a way to the old-way conversations. Conversations can make war as it can make peace, it can save a life as sometimes, sadly, it can take a life as well.
It's been falsely advertised that one should need to be ready with an ice-breaker, or a cheesy pick-up line to start a conversation, but it's been said and tested that simple conversational starters like "Hi", "Hey" .... are always the best way to start. So put on your best smile and let your confidence soar high and dive-in.
In this fast paced life people try to form a quick opinion of you, hence having a small talk is an easy way to be labelled "boring".
Conversations like, "How you doing?"....."Fine", "Tell me something new?" ...."Nothing Much"
These are a classic example of conversation killer, hence, skip the small talk and ask personal questions.
Like, "How long have you been here?", "How was your first day when you came here?"
Questions like these will make the other person think, for real. And you would get a real and a genuine reply.
There are times when we contradict the other person. Like, "I like Delhi"....."Nah it's congested". We are not trying to have a debate, it's a conversation hence try and find a common ground. Because there is nothing more comforting than finding a person who likes the same things as you.
Now, we are very well in a conversation, so far you might've noticed something different and note-worthy about the person ( If not don't fret my child! ) . It's time to drop the compliment. The compliment should be unique and something that they don't hear on a usual.
Example: Saying "You look beautiful" to a model might not be the best compliment, because she is beautiful and she knows it, heck she is even making money out of it.
Compliments like "I like your attitude", "I like you views" or may be anything nice would be something that they won't forget for a long time.
This one is a simple step, here you'll ask for opinions, it doesn't have to be on a political agenda or something so hard that they feel cornered. Simple things like " What's your favourite genre of songs?", "What movies you like the most, why?", " What books are in your hall of fame?"...would go a long way.
Now I get that we are having a beautiful conversation, but are we fully in it? So, next step, be wholly in the conversation, and make eye contact when they are saying something. This shows that we are interested in the conversation and are paying attention. And when I say listen .GENUINELY LISTEN.
Conversation has been going great and I feel you can hold your own from here, so why this step you ask? This is about, when you you meet the person again, what you gonna do? ....So, You need to remember the name, also, try to remember the tiny details if you can, because it makes them feel important and it opens the door for more conversations in the future.
Learning theory is a good thing but in the end what matters is the practical implementation, so go out there, look for strangers, have a conversation and live your best life.