The Gurgaon Aunty & The Dilemma Of Public Shaming

A shocking video surfaced online recently showing a middle-aged woman who stated in a mall in Gurgaon, India, that women who wear short dresses must be raped. The video was taken by a young lady after she was publicly confronted and slut shamed by the woman for wearing a short dress.

What followed was a viral video in which the girl and her friends hounded the elder woman all over the mall demanding an apology from her and threatening to make the video go viral if she didn’t. The woman defiantly looked directly into the camera and addressed viewers saying that girls wear short dresses to be raped.

The video went viral on Facebook and Instagram and had garnered more than 1.8 million views within a day of being uploaded, at which point, the woman publicly apologised for her comments.

The young lady’s anger at the disgusting comments thrown at her by a stranger are not without reason. Women in India have for years been victims of backward mindsets of society, and it is high time that the patriarchal nature of society went through a change.

However, ever since the video spread like wildfire online, the lady in question has received an unprecedented amount of hate and shaming from people all over the country. Her Facebook profile has been shared millions of times by strangers and her privacy has been completely obliterated.

Overnight, she became the target of intense criticism and a symbol for rape culture in India.

And that isn’t right either.

The woman in question (whose name I have left out on purpose) had opinions shaped by years of patriarchy meted out to her. Her mind was moulded by society into being submissive and docile. And her comments are a sad reflection of the Indian mindset that direly needs changing.

Yet, to publicly shame her and paint her as an icon for patriarchal mindsets is to build a movement on a foundation that is as wrong as the mindset itself. Throughout the video, it can clearly be seen how the harasser became the harassed with comments being made about her body image by both the victim and the same, if not far worse has been done by online internet trolls.

As John Oliver rightfully says in his piece on public shaming, when misdirected and done irresponsibly, internet pile-ons can irreversibly ruin people’s lives.

The woman in question has reportedly become the receiver of a large number of rape and death threats, something no one, no matter how vile their words and actions may be should become a victim of.

It is obvious that her social image has been horribly tarnished. This doesn’t just affect her, but also her whole family, who will no doubt be flagged by the public for the simple reason of being related to her. There are now several articles online with psychologists offering up deeply hurtful analysis on her mindset where they question her past and talk about her publicly as a patient suffering from a psychological illness.

In the end, the woman did publish an unconditional apology online. But the damage had already been done. All that is left of her social media accounts is an Instagram page which has a single post that says, “I apologised. Please stop all this.”

What we do on the internet and who we vent out on can be seen by anyone and everyone around the globe.

The world is no longer a private place where we can let our guard down and act on emotions and impulse alone. What happened to this lady is highly unfortunate and unjust - the punishment does not fit the crime.

We need to be ever vigilant of our actions and think of their consequences on the lives of others. While changing the average India mindset is a worthy and unavoidable task, doing so at the price of someone’s privacy and peace of mind is unacceptable.

We must rise above such undignified actions and work on society honourably instead of becoming products of its savagery.

No society built on such a foundation can last long.
We must be willing to take the long but necessary path to build a world where men and women can finally live as equals and be free of judgement.

It is completely up to us.