Anger Management Issues

Think about it this way. Think of a well, a very deep one. Each time you are angry, you are taking a dive in that well. Your letting out your anger, is the equivalent of you descending down to the bottom of that well and as you swim down, you are pushing all of that rage and anger out. Bit by bit, gradually and steadily, pushing all of that negativity out, either by taking your anger out on someone or something or by calming yourself down. And your touching of the bedrock is the equivalent of you having calmed down your rage and having achieved a state of stability, where your actions are not driven by your rage. Now, for a person who has trouble controlling his or her temper, this well seems bottomless, infinite and never ending. No matter how long or how fast they swim, they never seem to reach the bottom. The well keeps going on and on and the swimming never seems to end. They end up channeling their rage out for as long as they can, without realizing that the well of wrath they are trying to drain out seemingly infinite. But, after a while, they dawn upon this sudden realization that it’s not that the well is bottomless, that is stopping them from touching its bedrock. It’s that the well keeps deepening itself. That no matter how long they swim, they will never touch its floor because the floor is descending further below from them. This leads to another realization that the only way to ever exit this state of constant-seeming fury, is to actually stop swimming. And they attempt to do the same but then another realization dawns upon them. That now they can’t stop swimming downwards. Their hands and feet are now moving on their own. They have no control over their actions. They try to stop themselves from descending downwards by explaining to themselves that they will gain nothing from the actions resulting from their rage. But, by now, it’s too late. They are already trapped and imprisoned in a circle of attempting to calm themselves down after realizing that their rage is fuelling itself, failing miserably and then trying again. They try to contain their rage by suppressing it, and not letting it out, but doing so only ends up making matters worse as the anger feels like it’s burning them from the inside. It has turned too poisonous to be contained. So, they keep channeling their rage outwards. They keep letting their fury out and keep swimming down the well, having lost all hope of controlling themselves. They do calm down though, after running out of breath. They then regain their senses and realize what they did, and how it affected themselves and their loved ones. But by then, it’s always too late, as they always find the wounds to have already settled down too deep. These wounds may never leave. They may turn into scars and remain to serve as reminder of what uncontrolled rage can lead to.

But that does not mean your rage can’t be controlled. All it takes is realizing how futile anger is, when not controlled. There are a number of ways to manage your anger:

1.Talking to yourself: Talk to yourself about triggers that make you angry, and what you end up doing once you ARE triggered. And things that will help calm you down when you are angry. Jot them down, make a list, and read them to yourself.

2.Meditation: Meditating for 5 minutes a day everyday will help you a lot more than you will initially realize. Take out 5 minutes from any part of your day, find a cozy and calm place, and just let go of your thoughts, or at least try to.

3.Look at yourself in the mirror when you are angry: Trust me on this one. You will look ridiculous to yourself when you are angry. This is like a no-repercussions cheat to calm yourself down. And you will end up giving yourself a bit of a laugh too.

4.Write down the things that made you angry at that moment, on a piece of paper. Tear that paper in two( or more if you want to) and throw it away. Imagine the paper to be your anger, and the act of you tearing it apart as you pushing your rage away.