Why Do We Fear Change?

There are some things in life which we want with all might and yet avoid desperately. Why are we so paradoxical sometimes? We set up lists and tasks, yet would do everything to avoid them. We complain about the hot weather and wish for rain, yet when the blessed showers come upon us, we worry about clothes, traffic jams and wet pathways. We like money, but too little makes us desperate and too much makes us paranoid. We wish for change yet hope beyond hope that life stagnates at this particular moment so that we don’t have to change a thing.

There is a cliché quote “change is the law of nature”, oft repeated and fed to us since young age.Winter gives way to spring, summer to autumn, and life to death. But I often wonder why we forget this age old lesson as we grow up. Why are we so afraid of change? Why is it so difficult for us to accept when things get altered and situations take a new turn?

We don't want to step out of our comfort zone, we do not want to adjust - at all. We do not want to go into unchartered territory. The uncertainty of what will happen if things take a turn eats us alive, and this is the number one reason we detest change. As humans we like to be in control of ourselves and our environment. Any deviation from the usual course puts us in a flutter. The unknown, the great unknown of what will happen looms over our heads like a sword, and it is our nature to expect the sword to cut us instead of the weeds that grow around. We love to imagine the worst situation possible and never see any silver linings. What is the worst that can happen? This is our favorite question. We do prepare for the worst case scenario and that’s a good precaution, but if you are well prepared, why fear? Fate was never in your hands, nor will it be, so there is no point in dreading something that assuredly going to happen.

This is augmented by our inherent tendency to doubt ourselves, to imagine not only the worst of the situation, but also of ourselves. Making mistakes is human gift, forgetting that we can make mistakes is a human folly. The wheels of our mind keep on turning to the darkest part of our being, making us believe we are ok where we are, and anything else is sure to entail disasters. You have dealt with life so far, whether good or bad, whether accurately or sloppily, but you have. And you are here today, whatever comes, you will deal with it too. If there is something that will shake the axis of your existence, or take it back on track, it depends a lot on how you perceive yourself in that situation. Underestimating yourself will make even an immensely favorable situation look bleak.

Things won’t be the same, even if you like them the way they are. That is a given. So when change comes knocking at your door, do not cower in a corner. Instead walk up to it bravely and let it enter your life. Who knows what magic it will do? If winter held on to its lazy being, we would never really know the freshness of spring. And let’s say the worst thing happens. Does this mean you won’t be able to shift the situation in your favor ever again? The beauty of change is it brings a second chance: to redo stuff, to start from scratch, or build a castle from a mountain. You always have an option to choose change instead of change forcing itself over you. You have an option, you have power, and you have the ability to make change happen.