Have you ever made a wrong move in your life and later regretted about it? I am sure some of you would have, and I am counting myself in it too. So here it is.
Those last couple of months in the college are very special, to everyone, albeit in different perspectives. A few in the highs of #onelasttime feelings, a few others waiting to get out of the place and start living “independently”, while someone else just cherishing every bit of the student life in those ending moments. I believe we experience this farewell agony because one realizes the importance of something when they don’t have it or are in the process of losing it.
I was too no exception to this trauma, of loosing out the last few fun-filled hostel days and to make the most of what was rest, I made sure to avoid visiting home the entire semester. Circumstances seldom heed to your wishes, and soon enough, I had to go home, though just for a weekend. With a little more persuasion and a teeny assignment excuse, I could have avoided the trip, nevertheless, I did not.
If I were to rate my luck, on any scale, it would be definitely negative. Cause the very next day I reached home, the college decided, surprisingly, to declare a shutdown, indefinitely until further notice. Now I know how Kashmiris feel. Thank you COVID-19. My immediate reflex? Not enough clothing for the break. LoL, no!
It was such haste, both my homecoming and the shutdown. All those plans of ceremony dinners in blazers, tappori dances in farewells, patching up with all of those silly fights, and lots and lots more, were dead, right in my mind, as many of those wishes that never come true. Like all those grey clouds which never rain down. This was so brutal, devoid of even a proper goodbye? Too harsh to handle.
It hit hard, the realization of not getting back to college, my place. I was yet to complete that holy walk, down the campus, alone. Reminiscing how four years had changed or rather evolved everything, not just me. Cribbing now was no better solace. I thus let myself drown with those floodgates of memories thrown open fortuitously. A couple of hours and multiple gallery checks, I felt better, grateful, for everything that happened.
I realized retrospection is the best lullaby to doze off all the grievances, especially those of the past. My family was close now, and I was thankful for that. See? you start looking at the positives now. Things would get better, at least I was telling that to myself. And sure enough, we got an update on the college reopening dates. Hurray! I can do the tappori dance now, in a blazer.
Until then, I locked up INside, I hope you do too.