Ill Effects Of Strict Parenting

Rimi Dutta
Jul 16, 2019   •  57 views

Parenting is a tough role to play as it has a huge impact on child’s behavioural development. Permissive parenting is a passive and liberal approach while authoritarian/strict parenting is more like helicopter parenting. As the Indian parents are concerned, children till their teen age are quite monitored by their Mom and Dad. They decide what a child should wear and what not, where would they go and even which friend they shoudn't talk. The common perception is that strict parenting produces better-behaved kids but it also has certain disadvantages:

  • If a kid fear his/her parent and always do what they want, how is that different than bullying? They learn to obey, but they don't learn to think for themselves. Later in life, they won't question authority when they should. This fear of expressing oneself to the parents can led them to become excellent liars.

  • A strict parent is always busy in formulating guidelines to be imposed rather than listening to their child. In effect, the child starts feeling lonely and depressed. This might have a contribution in making them introvert and reserved. When taken to the extreme, being too strict can lead to negative long-term effects forthe child, including the encouragement of certain harmful behaviors like smoking.

Following the rules and limits grounded by the parents, a child often kills his/her own happiness to please their parents. As a consequence these kids rank lower in terms of self-esteem and social competence. They don’t try being experimental in their approach of dealing with situations also.

  • Parents who relate punitively to their kids have to cut off their natural empathy for their children, which makes the relationship less satisfying to both parent and child. These children who are parented strictly end up fighting with their parents and carrying a chip on their shoulder.

  • Many kids who are raised by authoritarian parents show sign of psychological problems like depression and anxiety, and some even resort to suicide.

The bottom line is that strictness does not work in creating better-behaved kids; in fact it sabotages everything positive that parents might have done and handicapsthe kids in their efforts to develop emotional self-discipline. Placing unrealistic demands on the children sets the child up for failure and frustrates them, so it's best to find that sweet spot between a controlling and relaxed approach on the part of the parents. The best medicine to keep a balance between the child-parent relationship is to let them talk that will help to develop the child’s minds, “inviting more complex thought and language development”. Understanding what a child wants and what he/she is interested in is a very crucial task for a parent. Does the child exhibit passivity or apathy?Does he show talent but is not a self-starter?Then a parent must be more controlling to develop his talent and if so is not then they can infuse some leniencytowards the child.