Without Drama: How To Tell Parents About A New Partner

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Otto Hodytskyi
Jan 22, 2020   •  3 views
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Most often, parents are not among the first people with whom you share details of your romantic relationships. However, sooner or later there comes a moment when you have to inform them of your new partner. How to make talking with your family about your new relationship as comfortable and painless as possible?

Consider the features of your relationship with your parents

The first thing to consider when deciding to tell your parents about your new partner is the features of your relationship with them. Your safety, including psychological, should be in the spotlight. There is a difference between simply not accepting a partner and a situation where it can put your relationship at risk. It is alike a difference between just an awkward first date and one that can bring troubles. If you believe that your parents will not accept your partner and will even actively interfere with you or put aggressive pressure on you, it’s better not to talk about your relationship.

Do not start this conversation until you are ready for it

Only you have to decide when to share this part of your life with your family, and whether to share at all. Even if they already know that you have someone, you don’t have to be hasty in confessing.

Analyze how conservative your parents are when it comes to your personal life. If you are not sure about your relationship yet, then it's better to postpone this conversation. Do you remember how they reacted when you told them about the previous partner? Besides, the partner should also know about your intention to talk with your parents, especially if you have not determined the status of your relationship yet. See how your partner will react to your decision

Remember that there is no fixed term for a relationship after which it is worth telling your family about it; it all depends on the degree of closeness and trust in your family. Perhaps you and your parents are open enough to discuss any of your acquaintances and love affairs, and you know that you will always find support and understanding from them. Often, mom and dad avoid personal conversations with children or tend to see a potential spouse in every new acquaintance of their grown-up kid. In such cases, it’s worth talking about a partner when you have a committed relationship, or there is an objective need for this — for example, you have to go somewhere together with your family and partner.

Talk in person

First, try to talk about your partner alone with your parents. This will create a trusting atmosphere and will help them feel less awkward. Choose a neutral place, for example, a park, a cafe, so that no one feels trapped. Although, if you think that your parents will be most comfortable at home, talk there. Give them time to get used to the idea that you have someone and prepare for the first meeting with your partner.

Be as frank as you feel comfortable

The fact that you have a new partner will raise many questions, “Who are they? How long have you been dating? How serious is it? How did you meet? Their curiosity is understandable, but you are not required to immediately give a full report. Go into the details as much as you feel comfortable because this is only your relationship. If parents insist and put pressure on you, immediately clearly outline the boundaries: today I am ready to share only this, as soon as the situation changes, I will inform you about that.

 

Even if your parents are hostile, you have nothing to be ashamed of

Parents may react to your words negatively, but this does not mean that you are doing something bad, or your relationship is wrong. Most often, interrogations, suspicion on the part of relatives are caused by their own fears and complexes. They want to know that their child is safe and beloved by a new partner. Try to see the true reason for their behavior, but do not forget to maintain a firm position. Anyway, do not let them affect your psychological state and don't make excuses.

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