Hey there! What do you hate the most? Is there any person or any particular thing or situation?
Well, here I’m so excited to write on this matter.
What is the journey from hating to disliking?
So, you might be thinking how would we conclude it’s difference, isn’t it?
I don’t know if the conclusion is directing the right approach, but I’m sure that it’ll make the true sense.
Okay, let's get headed towards my story behind which I’ve considered this subject.
From Hating To Disliking (Image Source : psychologium)
When I was 13 years old, studying in class 8, I was chosen in the dance team of school performance.
If you are a gujju (From Gujarat, India), then you’ll easily relate this dance.
Yes, it was Garba at the Navratri festival.
Somewhat about 1 month, we were practicing for that.
And the worst thing happened to me that I can remember was the bad performance at the showtime. Alright! It’s neither worse not the best, but I just felt that, that time back.
I really got disappointed. I decided not to perform in any dance act. I started hating to dance.
After that situation, I was always declining to dance. Also, I was not celebrating that festival along with my friends, relatives, and cousins. Not with apartment people even.
I can say that I was feeling shy & shameful whenever someone forcefully calls me to dance.
Disappointed Me (Image Source : Mahevash Muses)
It was my sister’s wedding when I was in class 11, and again I didn’t dance in the cousin’s stage show.
All the cousins were having group dance as an act except me.
You know what, as soon as we grow older, our hatred becomes bounded stronger. And even more stronger.
Moreover, we all in our head and heart knows it’s not the appropriate feeling. Not at all.
Though we hate, whenever someone/something/ some situation approaches in front of us, our hatred multiplies more and more.
I was feeling really nostalgic. I was missing my friends & memories connected to that to 100%.
At the end of the same year, my friends decided to meet and have fun. But I doubted that.
Because it was planned to celebrate Navratri festival (yes that dance, that Garba).
As to meet my friends was the priority, I thought to leave the dancing aspect for few times.
And I joined them. But I didn’t dance.
They forced me, yet I didn’t.
With an extreme push, I moved my body for 10 minutes and stopped.
Oh, mate! 10 minutes had gone like a year. All the bad memories of that class 8 performance started dancing in my head.
(Image Source : crazywanderer)
One year had passed. We decided to reunite again. Yes, the same way.
I really felt guilty before that time.
Thus, I thought not to back off and at least try to let go “ego”.
Well, I truly realised, dance was just an object where my real matter of subject was “ego”.
Yep! Every time I try to dance, ego takes the place between dance and me. When I move my legs, it comes again. Clapping hands, it’s again.
Damn, I further knew I was not ego, the ego is something else but it’s ruining me of course.
So, I got ready to dance and celebrate the Navratri Festival. While dancing, people surrounding me might be thinking that I'm trying to dance.
But actually, I was working over my ego, not a dance.
There as well, I didn’t dance well, also not conquered ego that where I wanted.
But something was improved.
Something was improved (Image Source : Apex)
Now, the essence of this writeup has become so important to me to write & create.
It’s due to last week’s incident.
Next month, I’m having my brother’s wedding. Yes, here there’s a stage show just like it was in my sister’s wedding where I refused to dance.
Guess what? I again declined.
But I thought why don’t I try to put out my real-self in front of that many people. I saw a great opportunity.
And I don’t want to perform well in this. I just want to perform this. As I’m done with this ego.
For the last 2 weeks, I’m practicing for this. I must say, if you want to laugh, watch me dancing, haha.
I was caring about other's opinion a long time back. But now I can able to talk to you this so frankly.
Yes, come and laugh at me. I’ll be laughing even more.
I’ll be laughing not on my dancing, but to the journey how did I chase my ego.
Now, I don’t hate dancing. But I’m not even liking it. Or loving it. I just dislike dancing.
Hating to disliking is a beautiful journey. The journey of growth. Where hate is an emotion and dislike is an opinion.
I perhaps believe to have an opinion, but not always an emotion to hurt others or ourselves.
Of course, there lies an ego in almost everyone’s lives.
Even in me, you and all of us.
But from hating to disliking, it changes everything.
Tell me, I’m waiting in discussion section below :)
Thank You For Reaching Out Here!
Keep Spreading Wisdom.