Blood Does Not Make You Family, Behaviour Does...

Well whether you agree with the title or not but one thing's for sure nobody likes a toxic person in their family or in their life for that matter. I understand that everybody's entitled to their opinion but their are some who don't.

I for one am a strong believer in the given title. Unfortunately, I come from a family of unbelievable narcissists. For people who don't know what narcissists is, - it is a personality disorder in which a person thinks that the world revolves around them. They are the worst kind of so called humans to walk on the face of this planet.

There is no doubt that our parents and family members are the people we spend the most time with. However, it does not necessarily mean that these are the people whom we have the deepest, healthiest or the most loving relationship with.

But then there are people who believe that family is above everything else, then they have no choice but to accept whatever is going on in that relationship, no matter how bad it is.

There are many reasons to believe that family is above eveything else no matter how bad it is. Firstly, that is what people instill in their children since a very young impressionable age.

Secondly, the social pressure. If a person doubts the validity of this statement, they face alot of backlash.

Third, by questioning their family system the person experiences inner pain. By accepting that your family is toxic and dysfunctional is difficult and a person may feel alone coming to terms with it.

But accepting this fact is what's going to set you free.
The main purpose of "blood is thicker than water" is manpulation. People often say to love your family unconditionaly, to respect your family and parents which simply means that you should do what they want or what’s best for them, even if it harms you or if you don’t want to. Here, it’s an unchosen and unjust obligation. Seems hypocrit, does'nt it?!

The truth is that family is nothing more than people. It is irrational to treat certain people differently just because they are your "family". It is unhealthy to accept toxic or abusive behaviour from anyone just because they are your family and call it "love" or "respect".

This behavior is neither love nor respect. And it’s not ‘good.’ In other words, when you refuse to comply with an unhealthy dynamic you are not being ‘bad.’ In fact, you are acting more healthy than those around you.

As a child you can't choose your family or run away from it. Unfortunately you are stuck with whatever you have. At the same time, you do not have the mental capabilities to accurately evaluate your situation because your environment is all you know and you are still developing.

As an adult you can learn, grow, cut the cord, move away, cut off all connections,become self-sufficient, let go of your irrational beliefs, reject manipulation, revisit your definitions of love, respect, reciprocity, kindness, mutuality and responsibility and refuse to stay compliant, dependent, and disrespected.

Lastly when someone says 'it runs in the family' it is upto you to decide this is where it runs out.