Is It Me, Or My Stars?

It is one of the biggest questions humans have been trying to answer since the beginning. I am not trying to answer it. Just trying to join the dots, not for anyone else but me. We will never get the answer, so some might say that it’s pointless to even ask. I have felt pointless thinking about it a lot of times. Yet again I find myself spending hours brainstorming on this topic.

To choose a side, you would first have to decide whether you believe that human beings are born as a clean slate or their character is already determined, by either biology, environment or the world they are born in. I don’t believe that we are blank when we come to this world. Not at all.

We come with a set of predispositions, characteristics we have inherited from our predecessors or the characteristics that were being ‘built’ and formed while we were still in our mothers’ belly, influenced by the outside factors. For example, some people chose to become murderers because they have been affected by a bad childhood. But then many people have a terrible childhood, but they don’t become murderers or bad people.

Certain researchers associated certain psychopathic traits, such as a lack of empathy and impulsive antisocial behaviour, with a larger than average grey matter volumes in the prefrontal cortex. Although not all psychopaths become criminals. But if a study is on point, then some people are determined to become psychopaths at least, no matter the way they are being raised or how good the conditions in life they have.

This is the first reason I started to believe that our lives are not a sum of the consequences of the decision we make. I used to be very logical (this might be a wrong way to put it) earlier in my life and I used to believe that there is no such thing as serendipity. I never believed that things happen for a reason. I believed that everything is random and whatever happens, happens because it is a reaction of an action.

Sure, looking at the surface, this is the case. If you steal something, the logical next step is that you will go to jail. But is it always like that? Many people do bad things throughout their lives, but the consequences of their doings never get to them. Can it be because of a twisted reason, or is it meant to be that way? If you ask me how I see destiny, I wouldn’t know how to answer. I believe in God, but I don't believe that there are some kinds of primeval books that have all of our destinies written in it. For me, it is just the way the universe works, but my brain cannot explain all the dots on that road.

Most of them.

But I believe that things happen for a reason. We might not see the reason at an early stage, but when it gets to that point, we realise. ‘Hence, it had to be done exactly that way’.

From the beginning, we get a lot of paths, a lot of choices and possibilities. Sometimes we wonder what would happen if we had taken another path, made a different decision or didn’t make it at all. But, what if there wasn’t any other way? I can make some decisions easily, following the logic and choosing the best real outcome. And some decisions are made by following our guts, the instinct, and some inexplicable feeling. For me, that feeling has deeper roots and a connection to something divine that’s taking us in the direction our lives are supposed to be.

I am sure most of you have an opinion about this question and some will agree, some won’t. These might be just some late night ramblings, it might be wrong and some might say that it’s easier to believe that we don’t have control over our lives. When you believe that everything is in your control and everything is just consequences of your decisions, that is the easier approach because you know that it's only you and no other factors directing your life. When you, like me, believe that some things are out of our control and that there are places we will go to, people, we will meet, paths we will take because we are meant to, it can feel sad and even pointless at times. It means that you believe that no matter what you do and where you want to go, you will end up on a road that was made for you. That road might not be good, but it’s your road.

No matter what we think or choose to believe, we will end up on the road that is meant for us. So we call that our destiny or a consequence of our actions? Is it me, or my stars?