Why I Feel We Should Embrace Short Term Relations

One of the biggest crushes I ever had was on this free-spirited, dare I say, hippie.
Yeah, she lived in his van for awhile, but she did not smell weird nor did she have long hair or smoke a ridiculous amount of pot. She found joy in life, the big things and the small things. I remember wasting time with her once when out of nowhere she exclaimed how great it was that garlic came in individual wrapped packages, like tiny flavor presents (I swear she was not high).Later while we were eating in a cafe, she brought up a novel idea—at least novel in my mind. We had both just gotten out of serious relationships and she suggested the concept of a one-year “romance” contract.

"Imagine having only 365 days to spend with someone you were totally into. It would propel you tomake each day count!!"

Fuck yes!! I thought. It was sort of like a no-strings-attached long/short term relationship. Of course, when I proposed that we actually do it, she just laughed and smiled her beaming white smile, which nearly broke my soul in a million pieces—but that’s a different story.

A few weeks later she escaped to some gorgeous Asian island location and I was left with just her idea. An idea that has never quite escaped me.

When we find romance,why do we have to attach so much attachment to it?Why does every entanglement with human have to be so serious? The thing about our individual lives is that we have the ability to write our own scripts—and within that script we get to write our own love stories.

Sure, there are societal norms—scripts that have already been written that we could follow—butwhy? Those scripts are boring.

Seriously. Snooze-worthy. Yes they give people the ability to easily find belonging and acceptance by following what everyone else does, but that doesn’t mean that the path is a happy one, or even a purposeful one.

Why be afraid of passion? Lust? Possibility?
So, that a beautiful soon-to-be lawyer is only in town for a summer internship? So, that a sexy spanish woman has to fly back home tomorrow? So, the curvy fierce woman in your gym graduates next spring and plans to move to abroad?Both of you notice the spark, both of you feel a connection, do you walk away because you don’t “see a future,” or do you embrace the moment and let life unfold in its own magical way?

Thereare very few things that never expire, honey, diamonds, cheeze wiz, as examples; romantic involvements rarely fit within that description.Why be uptight about the length of time they last?Meaningful entanglements can last a night, a week, or maybe 50years.Who’s to say at the beginning how it will end? Why run away at the start just because you can already see the expiration date?

Sure I never began a romance one-year contract with her, but I did enjoy the time we spent together and that crush will live on in my heart forever; there’s something rather beautiful about that.

Meeting people, taking risks, enjoying the experience, whatever it brings—that’s something I want to do more.

We often talk about mindfulness, meaningfulness, deep connection, as if it can only happen after a long period of time. Do we really have to run a romance marathon each time we want something profound, something authentic? Can’t we have sprints, races, and jogs too?

Embracing short-term relationships really come down tomaking your own rules, writing your own story.Of course there is value in something long-term, but we shouldn’t discount the short just because the clock didn’t tick tock along for a specific allotted time period, a length that other people have deemed “worthy” of “meaning.”

There are a million ways to live life, why pick the one everyone else has already picked?