What is it man!
Why it shows up evertime?
After struggling with myself for the entire day, this heavy feeling still manages to peek in from somewhere just to crush every breath of hope my lungs manage to get in!
Somehow I try spray it off but it starts to sting again at night like some bad odour!
People call it 'Existential crisis' !
Such a heavy name right? Guess what it's load is heavier.
We weave umpteen wishes and dreams but this phase makes everything bleak. We start questioning our capabilities if those are actually some talents or mere traits. We feel as if we're standing alone in the bare desert under the scorched sun with no oasis around, i.e. with no opportunities or scope in life. We starve for recognition but the numbness tames down everything.
We see our peers making through difficulties and cracking milestones and on the other hand we see ourselves struggling to survive in the crowd.
We try to attenuate it by finding some distraction, hanging out for a while or Netflix ofcourse, but at the end some apparitional emotion shows up to suffocate!
It's tough. I know it really is but of the whole experience what I've learnt is that sometimes it is okay not to be okay! It feels like someone's pushing you constantly on the road you're no more enthralled to travel on.
Like sucks seldom but what is to be recognised at this juncture isn't the burnt but the ability to admit and consider that life isn't yielding productively! Dealing with this phase needs guts and strength so please stop bothering yourself if you're going through it. Be in the moment and be patient for it's just a pale spring! You'll come out more independent and confident from this. Belief in oneself shall sort everything. I repeat everything!
I won't rant any impractical and unrealistic motivation because that has a transient life. Self-belief shall stay with you when nothing shall.
It's okay to have a dark sky for some time because at the end if life ends with a rainbow, that is all what truly matters!