Trusting People

It all starts with "You should not trust anyone" and things like everyone is good but no one is ideal. Its good that I have friends but I can easily survive alone. I don't care what people think of me. I am whatever I am. I cannot change for anyone. I don't care if the people around me are not very happy with me. It is not my fault, I cannot stop my wishes from getting fulfilled if they are not what I am exactly supposed to do/ wish for.

The above and many more things come out a long time ago. You get inseperably stuck to beliefs such as these.

Further, with all this in head, You are a person you never could have been.
When you start beliving all this, you will never have problems which you generally have in relationships, in life. You learn to live away from your life and thats what makes you consistently "think" that you are happy. You will never get/ feel hurt and all this will give you some feeling of success especially when you see people around breaking up and stuff. You are never scared of anyone and don't ever think before being rude, it grows to a level where you don't think before being unfair as well. It seems right to you because you think you are enough for yourself.

These beliefs give you a sense of stubbornness and all this grows to an extent you never realize that you have actually lost the ability to connect to people, to feel, to understand feelings, to make friends, to live all together. Your life is about you and thats all. Not even about what you feel, you desire, you belive; you are just some stubborn, brittle you who seems to be like how everyone is but in reality, is like a normal looking empty box.

Further, you become like; you should laugh when a joke is cracked, you should smile when someone smiles at you, you should answer when some asks you a question. Slowly you stop understanding the jokes but still you laugh, because somehow you get convinced that it was a joke. You stop understanding the feeling of a smile but still you smile