How To Argue 101

The best way to argue, in my opinion would be to "not argue".
Period.
Unfortunately for science fiction nerds, we're all humans and end up arguing, a lot of times with the people we actually care about.

How many of us have been in arguments where we've said the stupidest things and regretted them later?

Or not said anything at all and stood in the shower for long hours wondering what the right thing to say could have been?

Lucky you, if you're not either of these people.
I, however, am both, at the same time.
I say terrible things at annoyingly high decibels that I regret later and then wonder why I didn't say what the actual problem was.

For example; imagine you ate all of the fries I ordered for myself(as comfort food at the end of a long, tiring day where college professors have shamed me for wearing lipstick), even after I specifically asked you twenty times if you wanted any, and I got really mad at you.

What would be the right thing to say?
Hey, I've had a terrible day and it might not make sense to you, but those fries were the only good thing about to happen to me today and you ate those, so I would really appreciate it if you didn't do it the next time.

What I usually say?
Me: Where the hell are my fries?
You (about to get screwed big time, but doesn't know it yet): ahaha I don't know... I guess I ate them all?

Me: What's so funny? What am I supposed to eat now?
You: We'll order something else, don't worry.
Me: I don't want anything else, I want fries, but of course, you wouldn't happen to care.
You: What is that supposed to mean?
Me: You're so selfish?! You always do this!
You: Really? What about you then?
Me (narrows eyes, because I can't take any criticism): What about me?
You: What's the big deal if I ate a few fries?
Why do you have to be such a control freak about everything? Maybe if you'd loosen up a little then you wouldn't always be in such a terrible mood.

And so on, so forth.

Why are we like this?
We're always so quick to hurl criticism at someone, but hate being at the receiving end of it.
A friend of mine would always tell me, the more defensive you get about something you're being told about yourself, the more true it is.

She's pretty smart so I'd go with her word.
The reason that we say such horrible things during an argument is because we have a lot of pent up angst from incidents in the past, that haven't been acknowledged.

We don't talk about something the minute it bothers us, because we're afraid of the person thinking we're overreacting, or we don't want to admit that something so small and insignificant could ever bother us.

Not admitting that something is bothering you, doesn't make it go away. It just stays inside you till its unbearable and you let it out at the wrong time and the wrong place, like a fart in the middle of a date.

Don't dismiss something you're feeling, just because it's making you weak or vulnerable or stupid.
Instead, be honest and talk about it, the minute it affects you (Gross, I know), but do it and save yourself and the other person the unnecessary torture.

Unless, of course, you're arguing with a psychopath.
In which case, you should be asking yourself why you're arguing with one in the first place.
Run away before they strike you with a crowbar and Crime Patrol airs an episode on this unfortunate incident.

:)