We all want the relationships in our lives to work out. In the effort of doing that we sometimes tend lose ourselves. The other person becomes so important to us that, even though we see the reality, we continue giving always. Well let me tell you,
It ain’t healthy.
Always giving your all, physically and mentally, will DRAIN you. Trust me, I learned it the hard way. I was in relationship years ago which really forced me to focus on what the reality is. He was in love with the idea of having ‘me’, not me (refer to The Millennial Romantic for more info on that).
Life isn’t a movie. Things don’t always work out magically at the end. Whoa, I know that’s a bit dark but hear me out.
All of our torn relationships, broken hearts all mean something, even if it’s not obvious at the time. Here are some signs to help you know that you’re putting too much effort into a relationship that’s going nowhere:
That pit in your stomach you feel- anxiety- isn’t a good sign. If you’re over-reacting to the simplest of things, and/or getting emotional over things that don’t usually affect you, that could be your body physically tell you you’re not in a good relationship.
That anxiety makes you question everything. You start analyzing everything the person is saying or doing, looking for signs that you fucked up. Or signs that they don’t love you anymore. You’re not fucking up. Remember, a person fucking up wouldn’t care enough to even analyze.
3.Forcing your feelings to be heard:
If you feel like Rose (from Titanic),
then that’s a major red flag right there. You should never have to fight for another person’s attention (in whichever relationship) when it comes to matter related to your feelings. Your partner will show that they’re invested by paying attention to your feelings and communicate with you. Making you feel like shit for feeling the way you do is a dick move.
4.You always have to initiate communication or show affection first:
This is something I face a lot of and have chosen to stop worrying about. In all of my friendships I’ve had to begin conversations or keep it going steady. I don’t do that for many people.
So when I don’t receive the same energy I give, I stop altogether. If they truly want to talk to you and keep you in their life they will make an effort. You are not some towel that can be used and thrown. Honour yourself respect and mental peace and treat people the way they treat you. Ignore everyone who stands in your way and never apologize for saying how you actually feel, no matter how offended the other person gets.