I have always wanted to go out with someone I could talk to endlessly, I always believed that finding someone who talks as much as I do would be the perfect match, that we would never run out of topics to talk about.
My wise friend from college on the other hand, said that “It doesn’t matter who we talk with the most but the ones we can enjoy the silence with.”
As a fresher in college who was new to the city and on the path of choosing the modern way of dating (Tinder), I chose to ignore those wise words.
I would decide whether or not I should be going out on a date depending upon how much I chatted with the guy and how decent he came off as (cause duh, safety).
I met a few interesting guys on the app, we went on to following each other on instagram, liking each other’s posts and casually moving on with life without involving the other person.
During this process of “exploring” I met a guy who caught me off guard by the amount of confidence he had. A day into texting on the app, he knew he had to get my number and he got it. 3 days into texting, he called for the first time and we spoke so casually like we knew each other for a long time whereas we were practically strangers. And that’s how it began. Constant texting, daily phone calls that lasted the whole night and the process of opening up. Now obviously I was all up on my toes as I found someone who talks as much as I did. A lot of what he said made me feel like I’m obligated to be with him. It was the “You’re going to fall for me. Go ahead and write it down.” and the “You’re special to me” that I grew to constantly think about.
While we spoke a lot in the company of one another, I missed the silence. The joy of being with someone, doing your own thing but not talking. Being comfortable in that silence. No awkwardness or obligation to talk. Just being there and enjoying each other’s silent company.
This made me think of the people I am most comfortable with and how even though I talk to them a lot, we also have these silent moments and that is when I realised that it doesn’t always have to be a romantic connection to feel good.
Although, there were many reasons that led to us becoming strangers and moving on with our lives but the one thing I keep looking back at is how uncomfortable I was yet I chose to continue with it cause it wasn’t a major deal breaker.
What I had with that guy wasn’t a very good experience but maybe next time, I’ll go with that little voice in my head that says “nah”.
Maybe, i’ll go for someone who I’d actually grow a liking towards and not the first interesting option I see. Maybe, I will find my “we met on tinder” story which won’t become a sour memory.