It may sound selfish but it does feel good to know when someone suffers from the same thing as you.
It feels like I'll be okay like they'll be or they are. It feels good to know that there are more like you or more who are in the same position and if they can make it or made it, why can't I?

Assurance;

It assures me that I can survive like they are surviving or like they once did.

When they smile after all the misery they have gone through or are going through, it feels like heaven. I can see myself smiling like that too one day. The day when things will be fine and figured out.

The different ending;

But at the same time, it also scares me. It scares every part of me when I realise there are some others too for whom nothing got better. It scares me, it freezes my every breathe to think about those who still bleed, those who are still waiting, those who still comfort themselves by thinking about those who 'did get better'.

And it sucks.

It then sucks to breathe, to wait. It feels like every effort is in vain. Like it's all vanity.
But then I still tell myself that no, I'm not in the second category and I'll get better. I tell this myself with my hands shaking and my lips shivering.

After all these thoughts I'm forced to smile maybe because someone enters the room or calls me, and how can I let them visit this world of mine. No, I cannot introduce them to this person I become sometimes.

So I smile. I smile as they cry and discuss their problems and I tell them, "You'll be fine. Everything will be okay."

Every word heavy on my own heart. I make jokes and laugh to make them know that life is beautiful.They then laugh with me. It's like two beautiful souls healing each other.

Because I know someone would have called them like they called me and I remember I called someone too.

Then I realise, the world is round and we all are the broken ones.
Mariyam

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Profile of Manisha Agarwal
Manisha Agarwal  •  5y  •  Reply
Hey, this is lovely!