I Rose, Can You?

It was winter : bleak and raw, when Selena realized what her life had become now. In warm and fuzzy clothes near the glowing fire place, she sat as she drew parallels in her head, of her life before and after the incident. The black coffee in her hand was as dark as her life had now become. The white mug were other people, living their lives the way they want to. Some may change the color of this mug (their life), or just add a few patches or lines. But here was Selena like the black coffee inside : bitter and appalling. Unchangeable. She didn’t want to go through this again. She didn’t want the flashbacks to haunt her the entire day. She abruptly woke up to get dressed and leave for work. Being a Barista at Starbucks was a nice life for her, she could at least meet new people and enjoy talking to them for a few second, just like her previous self. She packed bagels for the 4 other employees working with her at 12 AM. All 5 of them were very different in multiple ways but united by sorrow and Starbucks working hours. Selena was always intrigued about the fact that Americans could come to eat and drink even at 3 in the morning, just because they want to. Her mother would never let her leave the house after 12. At 12:30 three girls came to the store, one of them order Matcha green tea, the other 2 ordered Ice coffee with milk and cinnamon dolce crème. They thanked her for her service and left. Like any other monotonous night, her shift came to an end at 6. She left for home to get dressed for work. Being a head copywriter at one of the leading firms at the age of 21 was the only and the biggest achievement she is proud of. Selena is Somniphobic due to the incident. When work got over she came home and read a book or watched a movie. She used to follow exact sane routine everyday. No changes whatsoever the situation be. And strictly attended 0 parties. This was Selena Carter’s life now. From a fun loving, bubbly and extroverted girl to a quiet and introverted person, a rapid transition came into the life of a 17 year old Selena. A change that came for the worst. An earthquake Richter’s scale 7 shook her entire being. June 10, 2015: A nice and warm house party was organized by the carter's for Amy (Selena’s older sister ) had gotten admission into Yale for the course she always wanted to pursue. Loud yet calm music was blaring through the speakers when Selena was told to get some food from Taco bell for the guests. Along with her 2 aunts she went to collect the orders. And that decision to go was her worst decision ever. June 11, 4 AM, the town did not look the same. Buildings had fallen with people trapped between the debris. Their house. A 3 floor bungalow was reduced to just a small piece of land. Loud music of last night was replaced with the voice of screams and tears. The salsa dances were now hugs and consolations and all the party banter now existed no more. Nothing in Selena's life was going to be the same again. The loss of her family had altered her immediate environment. Momentarily Selena wanted to take her own life. But her aunts took care of her till she became 18 and independent. Therapy sessions and constant care she got over her severe PTSD but yet again losing her family had a deep and life changing impact on her. After 4 years she still has flashbacks of the dead bodies lying under the debris. Initially when she slept, she heard her parents' voices and her sister humming to songs, she always woke up crying in the middle of the night. This is how she developed Somniphobia. ** A few incidents in our lives always change our state of existence. It is how we react to these changes is what matters. Although the problems and sadness in her life, Selena did decide to start her life from a scratch With her life mantra being “ everyday I decide to come with a positive attitude, a mile on my face and trying to get better.”