How To Be A Good Conversation?

Jan 28, 2019   •  42 views

Every body talks, espcially in congenial surroundings, in the fostering care of company that gives encouragement. But my talking is not conversation .None of the professional talks, those of the teachers, the public speaker, the actor, the debater ,may be takes as conversation .It would also be wrong to say that a good conversationalist holds his listerner spell- bound and that as long as this person continues, nobody dares to diturb him and so gives him wholehearted attention.A good coversation does not cornerthe conversation nor does he keep silent all the while.conversation is a glow that warms scalding .It is an almost Noticeable art whose effects are most felt than seen.


1: Gossip


Gossip is disliked in all circles. A gossip - dealer gets a peculiar(special) sensation and satisfaction in talking about others. If we follow the ways of gossip, we shall also find that thought they excel in giving some news or the details of happenings concerning others,their greatest relish lies in vilifying the objects of their gosssip.This vilification is done sometimes openly and crudely and sometimes subtly and with finesse, depending upon the intelligence and bpersonalilty of the gossip- monger . So a gossip- monger does not stop at giving information but goes on to add his or her criticism and makes it suitably spicy by briging out the wrongs and evils commited by the person or persons against whom his tongue is wagging.

Gossip is the wrost form of conversation if one csn csll it that vulgarity and obscenity of mind and the dormant evil qualities in him like malice, envy and so on. What a person talks or how he or she talks while gossiping is immaterial because here the common purpose is the discrediting of a certain object or person , and as long as this goes on unhindered, the whole process may br mistaken for conversation.


Instead of helping a conversation to grow and contribute to the mental satisfaction of the participants, stories kill the very incentive provided by a conversation in a gruop. Also, it has been observed that when one story starts, other stories follow and thus the gathering turns out to be a story - telling session, with the prospect of regular conversation receding into the backgruond completely.further, it is common experience that person who relates a story is apt to relate another as soon as the first one is over and then another and another and so on without end. however , the chain may be broken by someone who may have smothing more instersting or real to tell and the company is thendoomed to a furtheer half- hour or so until rescued by another person who starts the ssme tortune in another way .

stories are of various conversation, it may be sometimes necessary to narrate a story but the conscientious speaker will give only the gist of the story or its relevent portion to make his point clear. There are story teller who are very interesting and others who are just boring. Despite antagoinsm that one may feel towards the story -teller , one may listen to him neverthless as long as his story lasts. If this kind is somewherbesrable, there is the other kind who stops or prolongs his words latter are at the end of thier patienece. This can easily trun an evening chat into a vertable ordeal.


Anecodotes crop up now and then in a conversation.These are short incidents which have happened in the life of the narrotor or any person known to the narrtor . The justification for the anecdotes is its relevence to the subject being discussed. sometimes some relevenace may be found in it but in most cases anecdotes are restored to only to hold the attention of listeners. Thus a man may narrate a story from mythology to give force to his arguments. He may repeat a lesson or quote the sayings appesrs to be approproate to the occasion and will have a direct bearing on the subject that is being discussed.

It may thus be shown that story and anecodote are two different things and their treamnets are also different .Anecdotes have to be to the point and short. Even then the habit of using anecdotes at every turn has to deprecated and discouraged because this destorys the easy flow of conversation .Besides, ones a person gets into the mood of telling anecdotes, he is unlikely to recall that it could be the same anecdotes that he had handed out on pervious occasions ans is doing the same now of the defint of a new person who had joined the gruop.Such a situation in repuganant to all those who have to hear the same thing over and over again.


Jokes have thier place in every conversation and they would be a very tiring affair if life were bereft of normal jokes and laughter. if the converstion is held under congenial circumstances ,jokes can be passed round like soft drinks and laughter would be the order of the day; all points of agreement sealed with laughter,unless it be avery serious conversation.

There are yet some persons who favour the idea of telling jokes all the time. They will come into the room and as soon as they take their seat,they will begin one joke after another, causing the people to roar (or so thry think) with laugther. Needles to say when the situation takes such a turn, conversation has no chance and all one can do is to bare one teeth at frequent intervals by way of disapproval.A conversation spiced with jokes is great , but a conversation of which jokes are the be- all and end -all id definitely a damper.


Experiences may form part of any conversation. What is to be taken care of in this particular instance is that as experiences have the I in the foreground , the speaker , unless he is wary, may go on and on to slef - golrification, which is unbecoming . when a conversation reaches this stage, it goes out of hand and may not be easily salvaged from the rut it has got bogged down in. If experiences are leading to a chain of experiences related by differnt perosnd, the conversation will soon become dull and boring and will lose good will and fellow- feeling, so fundamental for the sucess of any conversation.


Misfortunes are best avoided in a conversation, because their very mention spoils the mood and dampens the rnthusiasm of the gruop. since every body ha his oen worries, big or small misfortunes do not hold much fascination for others unless they happen to be big calamities incompersion with our own cares and anxieties sem very trifling. The air- crash and the deathof a young relative (of some body, not present), the wiping off of families in floods and earthquakes may hold the attention of the common people and draw sympthy but they do notmake good topics foe conversation.

In all types of conversation, such persons plays the part of the common bore whose presence brings to an end the natural flow of the conversation. It i an esstial part of conversatinal ethics to keep ones worries to one self and to turn on the brighter side of life for others to see. if there were no failures, successes would be meaningless. to tlak of filures is indeed a waste of time.

This are different conversations/talk


Conversation has to move as a slowly but steadily,giving turns to all in the gruop.
A person may talk more or he may talk less bit what he talks should be relevent and important for those listening to him at the moment.Nor should the other persons turns be skipped over or their views passed by or cut short. Each talker in the gruop has to contribute , there is even one person who says that he wanted to say this but could not get a chance, the conversation cannot be said to be the best one that could be held.(