It all started on a sad night with my dark thoughts when I was watching an episode from the famous sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”
Let me tell you a short story about it..
“Ted Mosby, an architect his dream is to have a building in New York City from his design. He had the opportunity once from GNB to design them a new building and he worked on it so happily that one of his dreams is about to become true, but GNB rejected his design! He gave up on his dream and shifted his career to a professor in Architecture.
After a long while GNB offers him again to design them a new building, this time Ted refused this opportunity, even though it was his dream. He went to his class to teach his students saying:
“Unfinished. Gaudí to his credit never gave up on his dream, but that's not usually how it goes. It usually isn't a speeding bus that keeps the brown pointy church from getting built, most of the time it is too difficult or expensive, or too scary. It's only once you've stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it's always there and until you finish it, it will always be...” Ted runs from the class room”
A moment of silence that reminds us about the things we used to dream about.. The things we gave up on! This moment may shock us and make us realize how much we fool ourselves, this moment made Ted leave the class running away to catch his dream. And to be honest, this moment in that scene woke something up inside me that made me return back to writing!
Do you remember how many dreams, things you love or you used to do, but you just gave up on them? You stopped doing them? Or you convinced yourself that they aren’t yours anymore.. You can’t do them or think about them again! But I asked myself, why we take these decisions? Why we back down so easily like that and for nonsenses reasons..
Ted stopped working as an architect because he got a “NO” on his dream building, he tried and tried with no appreciation. The “NO” thing is so painful, especially when it comes to the things you believe in. It’s so hard when you work a lot on something you love and expect support from the people and you just get a “NO”! So you retract doing it, no matter how important it is to you. “So you force yourself not to want it”
To be rejected is not the only reason to give up on the things you love, a friend of mine told me: Going to Germany and studying there was my dream, I worked on myself to improve my language; I took courses and dreamed till I believed. Until my mother’s death, something died inside me too, and I lost my passion, couldn’t handle this pain, couldn’t dream anymore..
When you lose a precious person in your life, you lose your passion about many things in your life too, you become so empty and see everything completely dark around you! The pain of loss is the most painful thing, some people can handle it and move on their lives but other people can’t!
Inner critic could be a reason too!
The inner critic or the critical inner voice, thoughts inside us about ourselves and others that affects our self esteem, confidence, performance and personality itself. It simply damages the way we think about our dreams by giving us negative thoughts. So you get a kind of fostering self criticism self-denial.
I’m stupid, I’m ugly, this is not gonna work,I’ll fail again, I can’t do this, he/she is better than me, etc..
We all face these voices inside us, and sometimes we believe them so they successfully disappoint us and we became convinced that we aren’t able to do this or we aren’t good enough for our dreams, and we easily fall down apart to these voices. “So you force yourself not to want it”
But we all know that they aren’t true! They are just a fear we face, but once you stand against these voices and see that they are just illusions you need to stop them, you need to be yourself against your inner self!
If you gave your inner genius as much credence as your inner critic, you would be light years ahead of where you now stand. You are not your inner critic! “Alan Cohen”
I took off my niqab. People always tell me you look like an old woman, no one would marry you! You look like a ghost! A lot of bad comments I hear every day, they’re like pieces of glass in my head. They made me lose my self confidence. Most people thought taking off my niqab was because of hard breathing I have but the main reason, was people.
Being a football player was a dream, but how? A girl wants to play football? So funny! A lot of sarcastic comments whenever I talk or give my opinion about any match and people yell at me, how do you know? Girls don’t know in football, go to the kitchen! And surly my family didn’t support this dream to grow up inside me. Oh sweetie, you’re so young, you don’t know what you want!
Two stories of a million stories about people’s thoughts and how they shoot our dreams. When I asked friends and strangers, it turns out that people’s thoughts are the most common answer.
We convince ourselves to stop doing these things. Stop dreaming, trying, even thinking about them. We gradually forget what we used to love until we really stop it, but the truth isn't it. You already know what you love to do, you just forgot how to do it. You already know your dreams you just forgot how to dream. We will live once in this life so don't let any reason make you give up your dreams, things you love to do and not just these things sometimes we forget the happiness, we no longer know how to be happy, to be friendly as we used to be. We forget the old friends and how we miss them.Don't make life make you lose your old one, the one who is full of dreams, happiness and energy towards the life. Be the one who you used to be and take a good place to start again. Remember your talents, your challenges, think with yourself, see how many things you gave up on, think how you used to love doing them and now you left them behind your back.
At the end, I just want to say that everyone has gone through a step back in their lives. For different reasons, but it ends with the same result. We all faced this, I faced the inner voice a lot, it never stops in my head. I also lost a friend because of death, I tasted this pain too. I have been judged by people all the time. Who doesn't? And I got the "NO" it was the last thing that made me stop writing articles from a year and a half. And by the time I forced myself not to want it anymore and when I tried to come back, I realized how hard it is to start all over again.Until that day, when I watched this episode. The words touched me and I really believed that it's always there and until you finish it, it will always be, “Your dream,”.