Effective Parenting 101

Effective parenting 101

Kids nowadays are prone to be called ‘too private’, or ‘too secretive’. It may be true in some cases but in others, it’s just them being in their personal space and enjoying themselves in their own company. Nothing wrong with that now, is it?

But parents sometimes forget that. You are peacefully listening to soothing music because of the tense day at college but it looks like you're lazing outside. There are some school problems that you don't want to trouble your parents with but its seen as you withholding information from them.

Unrelatable parental behaviour can be really stressful to deal with.
Some things that aren't acceptable, even for parents and that they should understand is:

• Yelling at your child in front of their peers or even elders makes your child embarrassed. (Yes, maybe your intention was to point out their fault, but there are always better circumstances to do that in)

• Do not compare your child/ children to other kids their age. Telling them to Do better is different than comparing to other children. Always remember, everyone has a different capacity to do stuff. comparing is mostly a toxic method that makes rivalries grow more than constructive competitions.

• Giving your child space and trusting them is always welcomed. Your child may come to you themselves if they need you to help them out with something.

• Going through their stuff and phone without their permission is an invasion of privacy. Even if it's your child.(Yes, I know that knowing everything about your child is a birthright every parent has.)

• Teach your child to be grateful for all they have instead of telling them they are a spoilt brat for wanting stuff.

• Teach them to apologize and to handle the mess they have made, rather than scolding them for it. Your child is already scared about it.

• Be patient with them. everything doesn't have to happen the moment you say it. Yeah, they'll pick up the glass after 10 minutes of you telling them but they'll do it.

• Don't keep reminding them about something that they already are about to do. The Probability of them doing it decreases. (This applies to anyone and everyone)

• Saying things like, "Is this the best you can do?" after your child spent hours on it, is a big demotivating factor. You may want to encourage them to do better but again, not the way to do it. If you are encouraging someone, make it sound like an encouragement.

• Do not point out the behaviour you want to see. For e.g., you want to see your child spending time out of their room. Then don't say, "Oh, you finally decided to grace us with your presence? How thoughtful of you." This makes your child want to run back into their cocoon of blankets.

• If it makes your child feel comfortable or better then support them doing it (as long as it is not immoral). Even if it's not your cup of tea. for e.g. your son listens to k-pop and likes it. You don't have to like it too but stopping him doesn't help anyone.

• Listen to your kids' problem. If you are in a fight or argument then listen to their point of view too. This makes you reach a better ending.

• Your kid shouldn't be comfortable talking about their problems to strangers over you. You should always be their first choice to share their troubles with.

• Don't laugh when a family member bullies your child ‘IN GOOD FAITH’. Stop them at that very moment, even if it's yourself. Children can hate their families if they taunt or hurt them. Especially because it comes from people they trust and respect.

• Strict parents have children who tend to lie better.

• Never insult them in front or behind their backs.

• Don't talk bad about them in front of others and not give them a chance to explain themselves.

• teach them all you wished to be taught when you were younger that it helps them in their future.

In this manner, I've listed some things that may occur in your life. Be it as a parent or someone’s child, many of these are relatable to everyone.

I wrote this article in hopes that it helps you out to understand parenting teenagers better.
Thank you.
Article by: RASHMI BARI