Time To Controvert "Man Up"

Crying inside,

Crumbled inside,

Men’s eyes teetering,

Blazing veins in pride,

Keeping the emotions bolted within,

Is this an awful offence?

Men are always considered to be tough and strong, from a young age, we condition men to think that crying is a sign of weakness, that we are not expected to cry even when we go through intense emotional pain and showcase ourselves to be emotionally stronger.

Imagine a child with a scraped and bleeding knee be forced to stop crying because ‘boys don’t cry’? Isn’t it the human instinct to react to pain?

It starts at a very young age, most before a child can even spell their first word. He is told that men must be strong, dominating and warrior-like, he is given a toy, usually a car and perhaps, a superhero or soldier figurine. Any lad who shows interest in a toy which is seen to be reserved for the female gender (say, a Barbie doll) is instantly rebuked – “boys don’t play with that”.

What does this do, in essence?

Culturally, men crying doesn’t ‘fit’ the manhood that society shoves in our throats. It tells us that men are weak for crying. That men are supposed to be the strong one, and God forbid if they acted as human beings and started to cry! How dare they! Betas!

Such ridiculous standards.

There are certain phrases that are used often in our society whenever a boy or young man expresses emotion as weakness, like crying after falling down, being scared, or being sad, such as “Boys don’t cry,” “‘Man up,” ‘“Stop Crying, Be a Man”’or “Don't be such a girl."What they are actually doing is telling them to suppress their genuine emotions — which is both limiting and damaging.As a result, up to adulthood, they are versed at subduing their feelings.They are generally limited to a narrow range of “acceptable” emotions — such as anger. Reason being they have been taught from a very young age that it is objectionable to express emotions such as sadness, hurt or fear, many men spend their lives hiding their full range of feelings, operating at less than full capacity.

It’s even harder for men to cry for biological reasons, they have less prolactin, a hormone found in emotional tears, which makes it harder for them to produce tears.Testosterone also has a mini character.It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to. It doesn’t mean that they’re weak, quite its opposite because they are defying nature though.

In particular, pushing down, debar one from forming strong emotional bonds with others, preventing the formation of strong intimate bonds. This can lead to a lack of supportive and fulfilling relationships.

When Amitabh Bachchan said “Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota”from movie "Mard" , an attitude that still dominates Indian society, a survey has found.

Toughness is the essence of manliness to 93 % of Indian men thinks to be a man, one needed to be tough,more astonishingly 85 % of the women agreed to it, reveals the study.The study links childhood environment to partner violence. The researchers found that 50 to 60 % women faced physical violence in their relationships and 77 % of the women interviewed agreed with “When my partner wants sex he expects me to agree”

Gender patriarchy is not only harmful to women, it also leashes men. Young men are encouraged to fight and prove their machoness.And this isn’t restrained to brawls on school grounds – it leads to far worse incidents like rape and murder.

Brainwash since childhood about social masculinity flashed in the 2014 shooting in California, Elliot Rodger the accused said in a video: “I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. ”

Think of the effects of toxic masculinity has on transgender folk and homosexuals.

In order to create a more equal and happier society, it is imperative that we discuss how men are discouraged from crying and feeling.There is nothing truer than the eyes that can shed tears.

It's not wrong to express yourself , irrespective of whether you are a man or a woman, until and unless it makes you feel better, lighter and happier.

“People cry, not because they are weak. It is because they've been strong for too long.”~Johnny Depp