Home? The Longing!

Sometimes I feel like sinking into the abyss of my own thoughts and experiences only to learn more and live them all over again. I like to lie on the floor, and let the chills run through my back, eyes transfixed on the ceiling and my mind go into the depth of the clarity of my beautiful childhood. The big old house with lush greens all around. Butterflies floating forming a perfect symmetry of happiness. Aroma of those roses blooming at their best. I feel to live again those days where the mere street vendors filled my heart with joy, where I ran to catch the fireflies and looked after them with utmost care for a while and then release them in the garden , days when I used to quarrel with my classmate for that front seat in the school bus and catch butterflies only to let them help soar higher! I go back into time to relive the moment where I used to sneak onto my grandparents' bed and find the perfect spot to sleep in, between them. Days where I used to watch the moon chase our car all the way to the market and back. Days when I used to play from morn' to night on the terrace, goofing around carelessly. Days when I used to try my hardest to reach out for the biggest leaves on the tree only to lay and set a perfect jhanki on them for the ocassion of Krishna Janmashtami. I ponder and look into my own self until reality hits me hard and I am thrown back and I realize that now, at the present moment I'm not in my old house painting pictures, throwing tantrums and reaching out for the biggest piece of cake but here in this unknown place and midst the wrong crowd looking back into time and anxiously waiting for the day. To be home again. I let the musing set in and let reality hit me back into the moment where I'm still, happy, breathing but not so content.