Depression is something which we have all faced at some point or the other. To me, depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die. It is a mental state where a person suffers from a pessimistic sense of inadequacy. It's a time where we feel we aren't good enough for the world, a time when we always think low of ourselves. It causes people all across the world to have different types of negative feelings.
Depression is a war. It's a battle against yourself where every thought is a bullet, every movement a punch and every word a stab in the heart. It is a thief which steals everything you once had and the things left behind are the things which keep you trapped.Depression is like a zombie because you're alive yet you're dead. You're like the walking dead because you're unaware of what's happening around you.
Depression is like a nightmare, you wake up into a hell and are afraid of living where everything seems impossible to bear. Depression is like an ocean, a sea of emotions where you're drowning everyday hoping to be saved yet you never are. Depression is like a bottomless pit with no light, never ending pain, never ending struggles, no escape.
I too have gone to the point where I started feeling depressed and felt like the world was coming to an end and that there was no way out of the mess. Depression occurs during a time when something does not go your way or something does not happen the way you want or when something bad happens.
Different people have different ways of coping with depression or prevent themselves from getting into one. When I'm upset, I shut myself down and I have no motivation to do anything. That is the time when I start thinking about all the positive things in the world and start doing things that make me happy. For me, reading books, writing the way I feel and listening to songs prevents me from being upset and depressed. Penning down my thoughts and feelings on a paper unburdens me a lot and makes me feel light. Obviously, listening to good and happy music also helps. I don't know how reading became one of the preventive measures but for me reading a book, connecting to the characters of the book also help.
The problem with depression is that you know you'll be okay but you still feel awful. You know people love you, yet it doesn't feel like it. You know doing something will make you feel better but you you just don't know how to. Even though you want to be okay, you are unable to get there. When you're depressed, you are not able to control your thoughts but these negative and self deprecating thoughts start controlling you. I'm still struggling to not let myself go into a state of depression because of all the struggles I'm going through. Everyday I’m learning not to give into it. I’m trying my best to allow myself to be the best version of myself and allow my desire to be someone to be something that inspires me instead of terrifying me.
All I want to say is, be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. I think there are two ways to be happy. Either you have to change the situation or you have to change your mindset towards it. You do not need to explain anything to anybody about anything. Exist on your own terms. That's all.