Living in a toxic friendship is like taking a bullet in your head and you do not even know about it. Now if you had paid attention to the signs along the way you could have removed the bullet and it is the same with toxic friendships. If you know the signs along the way, you can intervene early on and not have to suffer from the results of being in a bad relationship, one that matters the most in your life and forms and moulds you into who you are.
We will do everything for friendships particularly if you’re co-dependent. If you are starving for friendship, nobody seems to tag along well and doesn’t click well enough with you, and then suddenly you meet this person and you just know from your heart that this person right here is going to be your best mate for the rest of your life. So close this bonding gets that you are blinded with friendship.
For a while.
And then things start to get changed.
Now what happens is in the beginning you do not know if there is good chemistry or bad chemistry in this friendship. You have to have an open heart to allow yourself to find out. Even research shows that we are likely to live longer and healthier lives if we have good friends, and so when you find a friend, you want to hold on to them.
And then when you get close enough the friend begins to tell you stuff that is somewhat not right with you and then they subtly unsolicited criticize you for who you are and you really have to change. Then you would have crazy amounts of talk-time where you would begin to step back, they said you need to change and you put on your therapy cap and take care of them. Now you listen. Then suddenly they get up and you are left wondering at what point in all this time was I supposed to say what I needed to, and now you begin stepping back. Stepping back, stepping back…you start walking on eggshells.
Your self-worth would fluctuate high and low depending on the friend’s mood and you would get involved and badly addicted to them, so much so that you would put them before yourself.
And then the last blow would come. The one last bullet shot right in through your head. Something that would go along the lines of –
You know what? You haven’t changed one bit. You should think about who you are yourself.
Sounds familiar? Something along these lines is the last click to pulling the trigger that shoots in that bullet through your head. You are left wondering where the hell did you go wrong and life goes upside down left and right. So the next time you choose your friends, choose them wisely.
Become your own best friend instead of being desperate for finding a friend in someone else.