Love Changes Your Brain Chemistry
The exciting feeling of your heart skipping a beat or leaping out of your chest can also be attributed to a release in brain chemicals. Several brain chemicals and hormones can be attributed to love.Infatuation often presents itself as two people falling “madly in love” with each other from the very beginning of a relationship.
Symptoms of infatuation:
You See and Expect Perfection. Infatuation leads you to believe you have found the “perfect” person as well as the “perfect” relationship.
You Have Persistent and Intrusive Thoughts.
You Drop Everything for Them. ...
You Become Jealous and Possessive. ...
You Feel Tired and Alone.
Infatuation is falling in love with or becoming extremely interested in someone or something for a short time. ... We say you have an infatuation when you express a crazy, extreme love of something––a person, a style, a band, anything. Infatuations usually don't last.
I will start this by saying that however deep and impossible your situation feels, you will leave this infatuated state. There will be a day when you can think about this special person without any type of pain or passion. You will remember how strongly you felt towards them while they didn't have the same feelings for you, and it will seem completely crazy that you were so stuck in infatuated love.You cannot magic away these feelings, because they are a strong illusion created by chemicals in your brain.
If the infatuated cannot be with the person that they desire, they will likely enter a deep depression and will feel completely out of order for weeks or months, until the feelings fade or they gain closure. Irrational thoughts and misery normally accompany this rollercoaster experience, as well as physical symptoms such as elevated sexual desires and lack of appetite (due to an excess of dopamine in the brain).
Feeling something intensely doesn't mean its permanent. Don't get confused and think that, just because you feel such strong passion for this person, your feelings will 'last forever' and you will 'never get over them'. For some reason, when us humans experience something intense or profound, we do what no other animals do and we introduce a painful aspect of eternality to the situation. It's a huge wrong move to think 'I feel strongly about X, hence I will ALWAYS feel this way', yet we all do it. Our tragic flaw is, in many ways, that we are aware of time and the future and cannot simply live in the moment and deal with whatever strong feelings we are experiencing as they come and go.
Infatuation has a shelf-life because it is based in the fantasy and reality cannot maintain it. It is such idealisation and irrationality that, once the real world creeps in and you become aware that your feelings are unfounded and inappropriate, they will naturally dissipate. It is for this reason that couples who feel 'infatuated' often become bored after around 6 months. They aren't experiencing that surge of initial attraction or the wondrous mystery that their partner made them feel when they first met, because they were simply infatuated then and didn't really know their partner. Hence infatuation is just a temporary illusion.
When infatuation turns from happiness to obsession, it’s time to make some changes. Constantly thinking of someone can take a toll on your life and cause an unhealthy mental situation. The good news is you don’t have to obsess over this person forever. You can overcome this infatuation by
getting back to reality,
refocusing your thoughts,
and getting help and support.
Analyze the person's faults. It’s difficult to see nothing else about a person you’re infatuated with except for how amazing they are. However, no one is perfect and everyone has flaws--even them. Make a list of their negative qualities to bring you back down to reality. Finding these flaws will likely take some time. Engage with the person outside of your regular circumstances or spend more time with them than usual.
Look at patterns of infatuation. Have you been through this before? Chances are, if you’re infatuated with someone now you have likely been in the same situation previously. If obsession is a common occurrence in your life, tell yourself so. When your feelings get overwhelming, remind yourself that this is just something that you do. It’s not indicative that you are completely in love with or can’t live without this person, it’s simply a tendency you have. Coming to terms with that may make you realize that your infatuation is just a habit.
Give it time. The saying “time heals all wounds” is popular because it is true. Look back at other moments in your life when you were obsessed or infatuated with someone or something. Ask yourself how you feel about them today. Chances are you are completely over it and over time, this infatuation will be a distant memory, too
Use your imagination. Play mind games with yourself whenever you start to obsess about the person. Occupying your brain with a clever trick can stop the thoughts and encourage you to think about something else.
Snap out of it, literally. Pain is an excellent deterrent and can be used to stop obsessive thoughts. Wrap a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your skin whenever you begin to think of your infatuation. Eventually, you’ll likely associate the pain with these thoughts and stop.
Distract yourself. Redirect your brain by engaging in an activity. You’ll get your mind off of what you’re infatuated with while enjoying yourself at the same time.The positive feelings you generate from the activities will likely eventually replace the negative ones you feel over your infatuation.
Ask your friends, family members, or a doctor for recommendations. Look online for names if you don’t feel comfortable asking those you know.
Consider the underlying issue. Talk with a therapist about why you became infatuated with this person. They may help you realize insecurities you have about yourself that were temporarily resolved because of the obsession. They may also help you discover a psychological reason for your infatuation.
Confide in your loved ones. Talking about your infatuation may help you realize a few things you never did before. Those close to you may be able to help you identify the reasons why your infatuation is senseless, which may give you the encouragement to move on. They can also offer you support when you’re feeling hopeless about the situation.