Preventing The Edge

Ever wondered why it feels so difficult to word your pain out when you are going through a tough time? Ever wondered why your mind curses a million times from within yet you can’t seem to express it? That’s maybe because you are worried you won’t be able to express the exact magnitude of your pain and its cause, and that the listener might misjudge the situation, or maybe because, you are just tired.

This is the primary thought that develops into isolation among many, especially teens. It is no new fact that mental health of the teens today is in a state more devastating than ever. Research shows that 20% of all teens experience depression before they reach adulthood. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for the youngsters from 15-24 years. Suicide. If the very word makes your fingers tremble, imagine the state of the child, who is thinking about putting himself/herself through it, standing in the edge, confused if he/she has to quit.

Teenage is the time when you need to feel confused about whether or not to ask your crush out, whether your favorite sports team will win or not, whether your teacher will give you a free period or not, not whether you need to take your life! When this thought persists in the half-baked adolescent mind, there are always many people who can, rather should reach out:

1.)Parents:
When you see your child going through a tough phase, talk to them. You don’t have to force them to say it out, because remember they don’t know if you will understand or not, even if you don’t understand what your child is going through, at least pretend to so you could take them to a trusted therapist. Don’t consider therapy as a taboo. Teenage mind is vulnerable; it needs the right help and guidance.

Most importantly, don’t blame the child for whatever he/she went through. The last thing your child wants to hear when he/she is contemplating quitting is that everything was their fault.

2.)Teachers:
If you see a student isolated from the rest of the class, quieter than usual, staring into space most of the time, addressing it personally with them will make them feel comfortable. Remember to promise them that you won’t share their problems with their parents unless the student wants you to. Tell them that you can trust them, and talk to them the way they would understand, for example getting angry out of concern is going to sound differently inside the student’s head. If it gets to extreme, pass it on to the parents. Recommending them to the school counselor will help.

Lastly and most importantly:

3.)Peers:
Do you see your friend not okay? Does he/she talk about death often to you in a not so pleasant way, instead of laughing it off to get out of an uncomfortable topic, sit and find out why he/she feels that way. Remember, it is always easier for your friend to trust you with his pain than with his parents/relatives. If he/she doesn’t want to say certain things, give them that space. You cannot prevent your friend from thinking dangerous thoughts, but you can always hear your friend out when he vents out, which itself is an indirect prevention. Most importantly, don’t sympathise, empathise. Sympathy is a temporary feeling devoid of genuineness; empathy is born out of compassion.

To those who are thinking of ending it:
I am not going to say cliché sympathizing lines such as “It is going to be okay” or “I am sorry this happened to you” or “You are not alone”. You must have heard this a zillion times, and the truth is, no, it is not going to be okay it is going to be hard; you are alone in the problem you are facing as only you know the exact magnitude of its pain, but that is exactly why you need to stand up and face it the right way, that is why you need to get help. Nothing is more important than your life. Nothing. It is okay if you are not able to handle it, it is not your fault, so don’t be afraid to get help, to talk it out. Here are a few resources where you could get help from:

http://www.aasra.info
24x7 Helpline: 91-22-27546669

https://www.snehaindia.org
24x7 Helpline- 91-44-2640050
And always remember, it is never too late.