Alone Yet Not Lonely

An evening with my best friend is always a time worthwhile. He and I have always shared enough to understand each other. It is again an evening and a time to remind myself, how the rush of the hour is actually a silent play within the mind. An empty house with no lights, the wind to make awareness of every movement, but it is not comparable to my inside calamity. He has been my saviour since time and again. I’m in this rush, pacing hard and all of a sudden he comes out of nowhere takes me out of the crowd. It makes me come out of people so much.

The time was, as usual, we were talking about various scenes and how we are stuck in this loop of starting again to square one. He then asked me,” Have you been afraid of happiness?” I said, “Never thought so, you?” he said,” Yes!” and started to narrate.

He narrated, “It comes to me, makes me see through the high walls of my limits.I gaze into a place unseen, unknown, where I find out our place which she had forlorn. There are tall trees reminding me glimpses of us, close. I’m unaware of the swoon state of mine. I’m not anymore morose. How beautifully she smiles when I’m happy! Such divinity I acquire just by looking at her bright eyes. We are so into each other, succumbing into the love of silence. I’m touching her cheek and suddenly she moves back. She looks at me. She took me by surprise. She is walking towards the wall, she saw me peeking at us. She said,” Do not reminiscence the beauty of us; for it is just in your head!”

Then someone pushes me to fall off to the ground. I try to stand up and stick to my happiness. But then I was dragged away from the walls. I try to grip up with the ground but nothing helps. I’m taken away, taken to somewhere with no walls, somewhere without her. There I work building some walls in true yet false hopes to see her, but it breaks in a midway.

It starts to rain. The sudden winter rain into my barren body makes me shiver. There is no light to be seen except under a cloud. There I see us again, my happiness adoring the nature’s fall on us, shivering to the coldness and listening to roaring winds, we sit together. The sight of her and me makes me happy.It did not last; the cloud floated taking the light with it. We disappeared somewhere.

I realized my happiness did not lie just over walls; it comes when I chose to strive for it. As they say happiness is a choice and yet I’m afraid of happiness.”

I did not say a thing but looked him smiling. This kind of evening where we seek other to let go the heaviness. So, there is an end to the evening where we reside and stay completely to each other. He and I will live our lives away in future, we may talk over the phone to catch up but such kind of evening will make me feel that I may be alone but not lonely.