Standing Still..

Something is standing still

around or in me,

I don't know.

But something is,

that could be a world in which heaven is lost

or a world which has fallen into the pits of hell

or even the end of my will

or my soul.

For the first time in my conscience,

my mind follows my heart

gets put to sleep alongside my body,

knows the name of the water deep..

deep within lies the secrets of the universe

or are they shadows of the darkness I've come across,

now that all the water is still

and seems no more to be water

just like my will of tears unshed

This isn't my will- is not my birth.

And for the first time in so long

I can see the worth of things,

the size and purpose of stars,

and of our earth in the skies,

and my own life - a useful yet useless speck apart,

and very far.

And for the first time in forever

I cannot tell,

what all this is

and what I am in this-

a heartbeat or a sham,

life of another will or

will of another life

yet my own unknown.

Something I feel,

better left unknown.

If all is not lost yet,

I am still here

at a stand still.