Marriages Are Made

“Marriages are made”- a beautiful poem was written by Eunice deSouza. It focussed on Indian marriages where she described how her cousin got selected to get married by checking her colour complexion, teeth, and height etc. Do you still believe that marriages are made in heaven? No, they are not. They are made on earth by examining the girl as a physician does, checking her looks, character and her family background.

Remember the time when your parents got married. They were not allowed to see each other's face. There used to be no contact between the partners before marriage. Then how were they supposed to build understanding and assure to be together? There were no answers to such questions at that time. The traditional values were on the top and followed blindly by people.

The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.

But thankfully, now it has changed. There is a freedom to know your partner before marriage. If something has not changed and needs to be changed is the tradition to ask for dowry. Ladkiyan paraya dhan hoti hain - often said by people is a very materialistic thought. The thing we have not left so far is the dowry system. The history says it was just a gift by the father to show his love for her daughter. And now, it is a requirement. No matter how many loans does the father takes, he has to give dowry for her daughter's blissful future at her in-laws.

India witnesses 22 dowry deaths every day. These man-made marriages are no less than human trafficking. A girl has to leave her home where she grew up and go to an unknown place to spend the rest of her life. The price of her happiness was fixed at the very starting of the bond between two families. Many women commit suicide and many were burnt alive by her in-laws. Do we have an answer to such deaths? The Government has formulated the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961. Still, there are such places in India where these laws are not keeping their dominance over people.

First of all, if someone accepts the demand of dowry, he is at fault. He objectifies his own daughter. All this happens due to the lack of awareness and education in these areas.

Any young man, who makes a dowry condition to marriage, discredits his education and his country and dishonours womanhood.

The need is to empower women not to burden them with the evil of dowry. It is not about satisfying our needs through marriage but to build a strong and honest relationship. It is a bond between two families. It should not begin at exchanging things but exchanging love and friendship.

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