My Heart Is A Construction Site

My heart is a construction site
And right now it's a mess
Someday I'll be a skyscraper and people won't think I'm less
But right now the problem is that nobody likes construction sites
They're dusty, they're loud and always dangerous
So when I see anyone approach
I hang up the sign "Sorry for the Inconvenience"
Sorry, I can't let you in
Sorry, I'm not ready yet
See I know it seems like I'm pushing you away
But you need to know that you cannot cross these traffic cones, it's not safe
It's dusty, it's loud and it's always dangerous
So I need you to wait
Till my heart is a skyscraper and I can show you the clouds
Till we can stand together on the 23rd floor and look up at the stars
So please wait
While I hammer and weld, while I build my heart
Please wait till I fully heal and then we can start
I had all of these dreams and I wanted you to wait
So I stayed up working, even when it got late
But maybe I wasn't meant to be a skyscraper
Maybe that's why I'm always under construction
Maybe I wasn't meant to work to a blueprint, to be a muddy obstruction
Why do I strive to become a glass structure when I'm meant to constantly grow
Why do I choose to shut myself in when I'm meant to go out and explore
I'd like to give as I become who I'm meant to be
I'd like to feel warmth, feel a love that sets me free
I'd like to grow in open fields where kids sit down to eat their popsicles
Where you can see families laughing and children riding their bicycles
And I wouldn't have to push you away
We don't need the 23rd floor to see the stars
We can simply watch them with our face to the sky while we lie on the fresh, green grass
And as we climb to the highest branches, I can show you the clouds
There won't be sounds of honking or streets with noisy crowds
I can let you in to help me heal
Together we'll grow, experience and feel
The silent breeze, the glowing sunrise
The joy it brings to my once weary eyes
Not a place that's dangerous, but a home I know
For my heart is not a construction site
When I let people in and learn to grow.

So many of us have the habit of pushing people away during the tough times. Whether it is intentional or not, it often pushes you into loneliness. Through this poem I wanted to talk about how pushing people away can be dangerous. You keep thinking that you’ll get through this on your own and when all is fine, you’ll find your people and be able to open your heart. Some challenges can be overcome alone and give us a sense of Independence. But sometimes, we need help. We need people who will encourage us when we’re feeling sad and weak. It’s completely okay to be vulnerable and reach out because this is the path to healing. When we isolate ourselves, we give more room to our negative thoughts and fears. Asking for help does not mean that you are any less of a person. It’s not about fixing your wounds and being perfect for the people you love. It’s about letting them see you, broken and all, so that they can help you heal. Maybe today is the day you’ve got to stop building and start growing. Let people in, talk about your pain. You are allowed to rest, to share and take your time moving forward. Everything becomes that much more beautiful when you experience it with the ones you love. So if you’re in a bad place and you feel alone, ask yourself whether you want to build or you want to grow.