How many times does it happen with you that you are so excited about something that it gives you immense amount of happiness, but somebody just comes and throws a negative comment about it, which ends up ruining your happiness for that thing?
Like, it can be getting selected to make a piece of art for your art gallery, at your college fest. Followed by working hard to find a unique idea for the art piece and painting it in the desired way on the canvas. Later then, you get many compliments for your work which makes you feel happy and proud for being able to produce the desired unique art piece. But, one person gives a negative comment on your art piece and suddenly all you are joyless.
Why did a positive comment make us feel happy and the negative comment make us cheerless? It is because we were seeking validation from others for our art. Which lead us to believe, that the art piece we made with our own creativity and which signifies our unique perspective, if doesn’t matches the others perspective, could be ugly.
Without even cross checking or thinking about whether that negative comment was reasonable or not, we accept it. We start doubting our creative mind, our uniqueness, our capabilities. We begin to trust the other person and try to follow his perspective and view towards life. We seek their validations for every little thing we do. And in the process, we lose our uniqueness. We forget who we really are. We feel lost.
Surprisingly, we don’t even spend a single second, thinking that the other person, who’s opinion matters this much to us haven’t even spent half the time we’ve spent with ourselves. Then, how can he/ she, who has known us from a few days could tell me, how to be me.
Mark my words when I say, nobody in the world can tell you how to be you, better than you, yourself. Having said this, it doesn’t mean we don’t respect the constructive opinion by others or become mean. Instead it refers to valuing them, understanding if they’re really true for our self and then accordingly, evolving through them.
Let’s stop seeking validations from others and know ourselves better. We all have shortcomings, we all suck at something or the other. Just some of us are better at hiding our weaknesses. But that doesn’t mean we need to be ashamed of our scars. We got to accept who we really are by understanding ourselves better and embrace our mess. We need to spend more time alone. Clearly, self-acceptance is the key towards happiness.
Strip validations! we shouldn’t need people to validate us on little things. Be confident about yourself and believe in your uniqueness, in your creative mind. Never doubt on your capabilities. Live by your own perspective because it’s just one life to live then why to waste it, by living with somebody else’s perspective. Be proud of who you are. I’m sure each one of us, is awesome in our own way.