A New Look At Your Expectations.

It’s not about people around me, It was me who made it so miserable. I expected too much, I squeezed and forced them to do things that I wanted them to do. I sat in corners of the library with my face hidden by books. With desperation burning inside me that someday someone will notice me.

These happy smiles, I fake day after day in the hope that I don’t have to one day. To be honest I wanted to cry more than I wanted to smile. I wanted to break down and let go all of my expectations and anger which literally eats me alive. It made me feel hollow but I wanted to feel empty. It is the one superpower I wanted, to feel absolutely nothing, to just block out all toxic people who keep on barking.

I felt sorry for ever leaning on someone. I want to go back in time to redo that. I start trying to teach myself not to expect and still, I was expecting something while not expecting. But this time the only difference was, it was not someone it was me. I was expecting from my ownself. To upgrade myself everyday. And this path of believing in myself and detaching myself from all kinds of other expectations was the longest path I have ever walked on or let's just I'm still walking on.

So, I stopped trying to get noticed and start giving attention to my self. I rephrase the phrase “treat others the way you want to be treated” to “treat yourself the way you want others to treat you". which brings me to the topic of how other's expectations shaped my life. The society or environment in which I have grown up always taught me how self-love is another word for 'selfish'.

I realized that what your expectations are and what you are expected to are all interlinked together. I expect to get noticed by people because there is a wish of being accepted by them and to reach up to their expectations.

We have made the word 'expectations' complicated and sometimes, the word that we look upon negatively. Let's redefine this word. Let's teach ourselves that when we read or talk about expectations we keep in our mind the things we expect from ourselves not from others and make ourselves see life in a more optimistic way.

The only expectations you should live up to are the ones you expect of yourself.