Divorce is a battle that many couples nowadays have to go through. Divorce, also known as dissolution of marriage, is the means of ending a marriage or civil union. It usually entails the cancellation or reorganization of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple under the legal system of the particular country or state.
The University of California at Irvine sociologists Cheng-Tong Lir Wang and Evan Schofer analyzed nearly four decades of divorce data (1970-2008) from 84 countries around the world. Their report, “Coming out of the penumbras: World culture and cross-national variation in divorce rates,” was published in the December 2018 issue of Social Forces and looks at changes in rates of divorce over time and differences in rates of divorce in different countries. Here is what they found.
Their measure of the rate of divorce was the number of legally registered divorces for every 1,000 married people. Shockingly, in the last four decades, the divorce rate around the globe has doubled! It has gone up from 2.6 in every 1000 couples to 5.5 in 1000 thousand couples.
The divorce rates are lowest in Sri Lanka (0.45), Peru (0.46), Italy (0.93), and Slovenia (2.57) and the highest in the Dominican Republic (9.33), Puerto Rico (9.43), Cuba (11.3), Russia (11.49), and finally, Kazakhstan (19.01).
In India, the divorce rate is less than 1%! Out of a 1000 couples, only 13 seek divorce.
Now, what makes countries different from one another when it comes to divorce? According to DePuablo (2019), it has been found that countries with higher divorce rates have the following characteristics-
A higher level of economic development
More women in the workforce
More educated population
Less catholic population
Part of international treaties and organizations
These reasons might have already given you an insight into the dynamics of this issue, but let’s state the reason clearly.
It’s the number one cause, Source: regain.us
Most marriages end because of Infidelity. After all, it is the number one reason for divorce around the globe. Even though we may bot want to believe but often, why people cheat are not very cut and dry reasons. According to cheating expert, Ruth Houston, most extramarital affairs begin as a seemingly innocent friendship. It is an emotional affair that later turns into a physical one.
Money is a huge factor in many divorces. Source: mscareergirl.com
Money is the second biggest cause of divorce. Everything from spending habits to financial goals, to one spouse earning more than the other, comes in. moreover, financial crunches can be very stressful and lead to conflicts between partners ultimately resulting in divorce.
Lack of Communication:
Lack of communication. Source: theladiescoach.com
Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. When it comes to marriage lack of communication quickly results in resentment and frustration. This leads to further arguments and miscommunication. And who knows what a nasty fight might turn into?
Weight gain. source: womanandhome.com
Surprising isn’t it? Weight gain although may sound like a superficial and unfair reason but it is a very common one. Unfortunately, weight gain in many cases may result in the person losing physical attraction for his partner.on the other hand, weight gain can also result in lowered self-esteem which can cause a lot of psychological and emotional problems.
Setting the bars too high? Source: griefinspired.com
We always have some sort of expectations from everyone, but when it comes to your husband/wife, you may be hoarding up some crazy ideas. Expecting your spouse to live up to the perfect image you have in your head can put a lot of strain on the relationship. You may feel let down, and start seeing your spouse as a failure but at the same time they may also start resenting you for setting the bar so high.
Lack of Intimacy:
Zero connection. source: marriage.com
Many times not feeling connected to your partner can ruin your marriage in a spin. Intimacy is not always about sex. Constantly giving each other a cold shoulder, not appreciating them can cause you to drift away. Moreover, in recent times lack of fulfillment of sexual needs is also a big reason for divorce.
Lesser half? source: blogos.org
Even though our culture still romanticizes the idea of an unequal marriage to a great extent, most people are not having it. If a partner feels that she/he is putting more effort into the marriage, taking care of more responsibilities, it can slowly turn into resentment. And resentment usually snowballs into divorce.
Lack of preparedness for marriage:
Getting married later is a better choice. Source: psychcentral.com
Most divorced couples are in their twenties. Most divorces occur in the first ten years specially between the fourth to eight marriage anniversary. Lack of preparedness is usually balmed for a divorce.
The sad truth. source: cbc.com
Physical, emotional and sexual abuse is a sad reality. Perhaps the abuser is not an “inherently bad person”, but no one should put up with any kind of abuse. Safety should be everyone’s priority.
Relationships with Family:
Family drama. Source: christonline.wordpress.com
A longitudinal study found that husbands who had good and close relationships with their wives ‘ family reduced the risk of getting divorced by about 20%. At the same time, however, a woman having close relationships with her husband’s family increased the risk of divorce!
Health Issues and Disability:
Disease and disability could lead to divorce. Source; officeonwomenshealth.com
Marriage counselor, Elizabeth Ochoa, illness creates debt and pain and loss of self. The other partner might have to take up a lot of responsibility leading to more stress on them. And not many people can handle the stress of a caregiver.
Just don’t. Source: Choicesrecovery.com
When an addiction is present in a marriage, it will cause a spouse to lie, cheat, steal or otherwise betray the foundational trust that a marriage is built upon. It can also put them in danger of losing their jobs, friends and even life. Alcoholism specifically causes many divorces.
If you don’t want your marriage to end, you need to put in an effort. Begin by connecting lovingly with your spouse every day. A little like 15 minutes of talking to each other exclusively cab bring about a big change. Say “I love you” every day. At times you may not actually feel it, but saying it generates the feeling. Compliment them in private and in front of others. A study reports that people like compliments more than sex and money! Moreover, do things together. Couples in long term happy marriages keep doing things that they find enjoyable. Try dancing or even playing cards with your wife/husband!
First things first, let’s just agree to the fact that marriage isn’t for everyone. There’s a lot more to life than just marriage. Divorces can take place but it’s not the end of the world. Sometimes a divorce can take a person away from abuse or unhappiness and that’s the best thing they can do for themselves. Maybe they will find love again, or maybe they’ll realize they always had love- from their family, friends and themselves. The upcoming generation needs to realize that getting divorced doesn’t have to have so much stigma attached to it.
We need to open up more options for ourselves. By removing the stigma, we can open up an option, not to marry at all. Whoever wants to live a single life can proudly do so without having to explain to a hundred uncles and aunties as to why they don’t want to get married. This also empowers those who want to get married. They could seek marriage from a position of strength, as something they run towards, and not just a place where they end up because they are running away from being single. When single life is affordable and cherished and accepted as meaningful and fulfilling, perhaps people would not be in such a race to get there. They won't lunge at dangerous romantic partners out of desperation.