Feelings.... A Complication

What are feelings?

Feelings and emotions —over the ages,have had many different meanings to many different philosophers and researchers. How are they related to drives or instincts?

As Knappnoted: “This literature encompasses a wide variety of definitions, approaches, and data…psychology as a whole speaks about emotion in many different tongues.”

While the term “feeling” can be used to describe purely physical sensations, such as touch or pain or it can also be used to describe purely psychological effects of our bodily chemicals AKA hormones.

From the time that we are children, many of us are discouraged and told, “Don’t cry,” and “There’s nothing to be sad about.” As a culture, we are often taught that we should try to avoid unpleasant emotions at all costs. Thus, for many, the primary impulse when they are experiencing unpleasant emotions is to try to escape from those feelings through alcohol, drugs, compulsive sex, or a variety of other self-harming behaviors.

"A life without any feelings is a life not lived at all."
Many of us start blocking painful emotions so that we don't experience the excruciating pain that one has to suffer through in cases of relationship break-ups or death of our near and dear ones.

Here are a couple of reasons (psychologically proved by Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW from Maryland.) why experience and feeling emotions is a far better way to cope with life rather than blocking them:-

1)1. When you numb sadness, you also numb happiness and joy.

The reality is that we cannot selectively numb ouremotions. Part of the most amazing thing about being human is that we are able to have a wide spectrum of emotions. To experience sadness and hurt is what makes it so incredible to feel joy and happiness.

Feelings are like the phases of the moon, a full moon representing our happy phase but to experience the happiness of a full moon we also need to know the worth of a new moon.

2) To process and experience your feelings is part of having a full life.

For a person in the throes of an eating disorder, workaholism, or sex addiction can tell you that constantly running from your emotions is exhausting and tiring. When you are focused on numbing your feelings rather than processing them you prevent yourself from living a full and meaningful life. Hurt, pain, sadness, and anger are all natural and healthy parts of the human experience. If we try to suppress these emotions, we won't be able to thrive.

To experience emotions and being vulnerable with the people that you trust is a sign of true strength and not a weakness. After all, the way to heal and through painful experiences is to let yourself feel. You can do this by writing down what you feel in a journal, which of course no one would be privy too, or maybe immersing yourself in artwork, talking to a close acquaintance- these all are healthy ways of coping with emotions that we feel difficult to process.