Men's Rights : What You Need To Know

The recent case of actor Karan Oberoi, accused falsely of rape, has sparked the #mentoo campaign. It has brought the debate about men’s rights to the forefront in the times of #metoo and other sexual harassment combating measures. What are men’s rights? All rights a human being deserves. Men’s rights are a part of the feminist movement, which comes as a surprise to many people (because feminism is equality, is that so hard to understand?). In fact #mentoo was popularized in India by Pooja Bedi, a woman.

A burning issue today is that of false accusations of rape and sexual harassment. It is a legitimate problem that needs to be looked at, no innocent should be punished. But those who call for strict punishment for false cases forget one thing: because of the nature of the crime, some of the most crucial evidence perishes with time. It ultimately is one person’s word against the other. So in the cases where rape did happen but could not be proven, charging the victim for false accusation would be double injustice. This is not to undermine the men who go through fake cases, they deserve full justice, but we tread on a fine line here. Hence, there should be punishment in cases were false cases are proven to be ‘false’.

Male rape. Some snicker at the mention, wondering if it is even real. Oh it is, but not according to our constitution. The law of the land penalizes only rapists of young boys and females. There is no relief for adult men who have gone through the tragedy. This is not only unfair, but also blasphemous. How can you delegitimize an assault based on gender? Sexual violence affects one gender more than the other, which does not mean there aren’t men affected. There is also the issue of non-consensual circumcision. Men are usually subjected to it in their infantry or early childhood, which deprives them of a choice regarding their bodies. These areas are often ignored by some so-called men’s activists who prefer to focus on insubstantial assault allegations.

But what I find disconcerting is the advocacy of some “men’s rights” as a lash back to women’s movements. It’s as if there is a cold war brewing, with both groups countering one another. Men and women should not be two rivals struggling for supremacy. They are humans fighting for rights. And men activists who fight should ensure they are demanding the ‘right’ rights, and not merely being uneasy at the idea of women centered policies that demand they give up their male privilege. There are some genuine problems that trouble men, from paternity rights to false accusations, there are! But not all that this movement pinpoints is justified. The issuance of paternity leave for men, now expanded to 6 months is an example of upholding men’s rights. Loss of privilege is not. Upholding toxic masculinity in the garb of rights is not.

The fight for men’s right is as legitimate as women’s rights as long as it manifests itself in the right way. An important way to ensure this is realization and acceptance of certain facts:

1. Males as a gender are privileged (not denying the problems they suffer)

2. Affirmative action for women is not anti-men (it will take so much more than a couple of policies to undo 2000 years of oppression; you have to take remedial measures to uplift the suppressed section , be it women, economically disadvantaged, schedule castes and tribes, or otherwise)

3. Certain laws for women safety that might be perceived as strict are necessary given the status quo.( If you feel they are not, question whether your female relatives or friends are completely safe when they go out, anywhere.)

4. Your privilege is not your right; it is the oppression of somebody else.

When it comes to stringent provisions in women safety laws or so-called ‘women appeasement policies’, many men cry and hue. In some things they are correct maybe, but wrong in others. Any dilution in safety laws to prevent wrongful burden on men is difficult to come by without endangering the purpose of these laws. As a privileged member of the society, I might find the metro fare waiver unnecessary, but for a girl in an impoverished, orthodox household, this might be a chance that ensures safe travel to pursue education and work. So yes, changes need to be made, but with a careful look at all aspects of society.

I am in support of all men’s movements that fight for what is right, and are not colored in misogyny. I, as a woman, am in solidarity with all men who have experienced assault and need justice, but not in favor of those who capitalize on them as a slap to their perception of feminism. Its ‘yes, women face these problems, and even men too’ instead of ‘ok women face these problems, but men also you know…’.its ‘and’ not ‘but’. It is not a battle of the sexes; it’s a fight for all who are affected by sexism and gender stereotypes.