Are You Being Kind To Yourself?

R. Bhowmik
Apr 18, 2019   •  28 views

I have often wondered are people kind by nature, or do we learn it as we grow up? I remember reading somewhere,

We don't have to try and be kind. Kindness is innate. We just have to stop being unkind.

I felt overwhelmed after reading this line but a thought etched my brain for the coming days.
If we are kind by birth, then why aren’t we living in a kinder society, where people think of others before they think of themselves?

I thought to myself, why am I judging others, when I myself don’t truly understand what kindness is. Is it an act of altruism, is it selfless deeds or is it just that, the world is geared in such a way that kindness itself becomes unnatural, something that makes people wonder and think, what is wrong?

As I pondered upon this question, I researched and found many interesting things about kindness.

Read and see what you think...

I found one facet of kindness to be empathy towards people that makes us act in a certain way.
Be it tossing a note to the homeless person by the street or sharing a part of our meal with a street dog, or for that matter, helping a little plant grow upright.

As I discovered more about it - I realized something interesting.

Kindness is of actually two-fold, one of that towards others and one towards yourself.
Since we seem to know a lot about the former and there are numerous articles on the web and our own opinions.

Let's take a minute to talk about the latter.

To be kind to others, be kind to yourself first.

Said, someone. And yes, this is the truth.

In mean aunts' voice, "Oh, you've to look good." "Oh, you don't look very healthy, do you have some health problem?"

In "that, over-the-top" classmates' tone, "Why are you so shy?"
We have heard this all and will keep hearing no matter what because people like to project their insecurities to others.

Of course, you've got to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself, but in doing that being terribly harsh on yourself will serve no purpose. In this case, the end doesn't justify the means. Not understanding the difference between the two is a way of total disillusionment.

Coming back to my earlier point, creating a kinder society begins with its citizens who create a kinder-self. When you are kind to yourself you can empathize with others and be kind to them. So how do we create a kinder society?

Kindness and forgiveness to yourself is a great starting point. Kindness and forgiveness to yourself weaken the bad seeds in our mind of being too hard on ourselves (which in some cases might even break people). It's this act that healthier seeds replace the old ones and grow stronger, overshadowing old seeds until there is nothing to sustain their growth.

Life is your own and not someone else's. Understand if you're hurting yourself and need to stop doing that because it's hindering your growth. Growth doesn't necessarily have to come from a place of suffering and pain, it can sometimes come from a place of kindness and love too.

And in the words of Dr. Jehangir Khan,


Thank you for your time and
Thank you for reading.



Profile of R. Bhowmik
R. Bhowmik  •  5y  •  Reply
That is so true. Thank you. Yes, mistakes rectified and corrected. Thank you for reading, mate :D
Profile of Akash Sinha
Akash Sinha  •  5y  •  Reply
*Loved it! Just a few .......
Profile of Akash Sinha
Akash Sinha  •  5y  •  Reply
I loved the overall concept. We always forget to be kind to ourselves. And that ending with Dr. Jehangir'Jug'Khan's quote was the cherry on top. Loved it Just a few points, concentrate more on punctuation marks and also check for spelling mistakes thoroughly if any, or else they disrupt the beautiful flow.