Dowry And Its Aftermath

As we belong from a Patriarchal society in which dowry is given from the bride to the groom, this ritual has existed since times memorial. Dowry was not a social evil in the olden days in fact dowry was given for the benefit of the bride. In earlier times, women had legal rights to inherit from their father and she would take the inherited amount when she got married. In the 2oth century, the tables turned dowry is now seen as a practice that benefits the groom’s family. The bride has no legal rights left once she has wed she has to rely heavily on her husband and if he refuses to support her financially she has no choice but to deal with it. Many people do voice their opinions against the entire system of dowry but everyone knows that it is a sign of status in the society. Some religions promote dowry openly stating it as either “we take” or “we give” without any hesitation. This is also a reason as to how in our culture we feel it is better to kill a baby in the womb if it is a girl. No one wants the burden of a girl child. Everyone says their opinions are changing and they do not discriminate between a boy or girl but when it comes down to actually proving their own statements they fall back. It is a burden for the father as well as the daughter getting married, sometimes the given dowry is not enough even when the bride’s father has spent every last penny it is still not enough. If one is unable to provide the demanded dowry, the bride after marriage is treated poorly. It can be either physically or emotionally and this is why the bride’s father without saying a word often complies. Asking for dowry is seen as a heinous crime and many acts have been initiated but then again in a country like ours with population pooling every day it is not possible to keep a track of this. We talk about spreading awareness and many more things but once people view it as a religious necessity it is often hard to change minds.

“Her husband promised her the world but now she is begging him to stop threatening her, he removes his belt and lashes till she’s red, a pool of red accumulating on the bed. Next day a suitcase arrives at her door she goes and hands it over to them. They frown and toss it away, she calls and asks her father please send the next bag in a few days or else he’ll beat me again.”